#this is what happens when you just think a little!
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Chara Week Day 5: Ghost
Every time I see that machine in the True Lab, I wonder if it could possibly be Chara's soul in there? Probably unlikely, but not impossible... It's interesting to think about what the implications of that would be.
A version with no text and then a version with just the machine, because I think it looks pretty cool and ominous alone as well.....
#chara week#chara week 2023#undertale#safeutdr#chara dreemurr#my art#chara#undertale chara#chara undertale#true lab#I'm just thinking that. while it's possible that their soul shattered when they and Asriel died. we don't actually KNOW what happened#and human souls persist for a little while after death..... idk I'm bad at coming up with theories but I'm Thinking about it#and I will continue thinking about it even though it's probably not significant at all#ANYWAY it gave me a cool art idea so here you go. and hrm. yes technically I got that line from the Stay Calm fnaf fansong. specifically.#i don't like fnaf but the song is cool........... I'm pretty sure it gave me the idea for this drawing when i sketched it last may#btw yeah that's why i did this drawing specifically for this prompt. i had the sketch lying around and thought it would be fun to finish#ALSO I'm realizing that the dark ominous backgrounds of the True Lab are soooo fun to draw. especially with red glowy effects#AUGH oh no....... my habit of rambling excessively in the tags is returning........ I'll stop now lol
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"i don't think you know just what you do to me."
stepdad!kento's hands on your body are searing hot and desperate,, to say the least. he has you on the dining table, your half eaten dinner pushed aside to make room for you to sit back and accommodate your stepfathers large frame between your thighs. he's so hard it hurts, but you only have so long before your mother finishes up in the shower and comes down to join the both of you for desert.
little does she know, her sweethearted kento is having his fill of desert early. he gropes you with large hands, tweaks at your nipples as he kisses down whatever exposed skin he can find until he's face-to-face with your pretty pussy: his favourite sight. but you're needy and impatient and despite having been licked and worshipped by your stepdad for weeks now he still hasn't stretched you out on his cock.
"you could just fuck me," you whisper, as if your mother could somehow hear you over the running water of her shower upstairs. "im already wet for you..."
he shakes his head, blond hair messing a little as he presses a kiss to your inner thigh. you reach down and take his glasses off to avoid any obstacles between your sensitive clit and his eager mouth.
"you know i won't fuck you, sweet thing."
"why-" you gasp as he licks a stripe through your folds up to your clit- "why not? i want it."
"i'm your step-father. it's wrong," he presses a kiss to your clit. "improper," kiss, "an abuse of power."
"you're literally eating me out right now," you whine. "it's wrong anyways. you want it too, i know you do."
"more than anything," he hums against your pussy. "bet you feel as sweet as you taste, but it's not happening. you need to start respecting the ground rules i lay down, so shut up and let me make you cum before your mother comes back down."
you groan, but lean back on your elbows and let your legs drape over his broad shoulders. kento eats you like he hasn't just indulged himself on your mothers cooking; with needy moans pressed against your clit and lots of spit and tongue and enough kisses to tell you this isn't just sex to him. he digs his fingers into your thighs to pull you impossibly closer to his greedy tongue, but you gasp when the cold of his wedding band presses against your heated skin.
of course, he moves to take it off, mostly out of guilt, but you manage to catch his wrist in your hand before he can. you can feel his sharp exhale against your pussy as you shake your head, something filthy playing behind your eyes. "don't take it off."
your stepdad frowns and you slowly guide his hand to your heat. you mould hiring and middle finger out and press the rest against his palm and tease your own entrance with his hand as if he were only a toy. his wedding band glistens with your sweet nectar, and he can't manage to pull his hand away like he should. "you're cruel," he whispers.
"i know," you sigh and lean back, letting go of his wrist and trusting him to know what you want. "stop if you want to. go join mom in the shower, maybe you could get off with yourâ"
"don't." kento pistons his fingers into you with a pace that makes you dizzy! your head is falling back and he's reattaching his lips to your clit and showing off that added experience that being so much older than you gives. your fingers drag through his hair, messing up the delicate blond strands in a way you almost hope he doesn't remember to fix before facing your mother again.
and before you know it, he's bring you to the edge of your climax and pushing you over into ecstasy with an ease that makes it feel like you're the one who he should be claiming with jewellery instead! you cum hard around his fingers and greedy kento nanami laps up every last drop of your release like a thirsty dog.
he rests his forehead against your knee and closes his pretty eyes tight. he's trying to will his erection down.
"i can fix that," you offer, already knowing he'll shake his head and tell you that this is for your pleasure, not his. though you know if you had the time for a second round that your taste alone could make the man cum in his pants: it's happened before.
but before he can protest and you can push any further, the sound of running water from upstairs halts and you hear the shower door opening and shutting as your mother finishes up. it's an almost comical race to get your clothes back on and your appearances tidied up, but by the time she's dressed and rejoining you both in the dining room, you're sat in soft chatter about... the economy.
that's okay, though! because your mom quickly gives you a new subject to discuss when she tells you she's going to spend the summer abroad on a business exchange! she hates to leave you two alone like this but it's the opportunity of a lifetime.
and you'll be damned if you get a whole summer alone with your stepdad and don't get him to fuck you properly within the first week :)
pt 2 soooooooon
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x reader#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami x you#cw cheating#cw stepcest
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror â but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out â I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity â and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept
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helping hand
pairing: bsf!lee heeseung x fem!reader
synopsis: heeseung had an unusual ritual before every competition as a professional league of legends player. one that his ex-girlfriend could no longer fulfill for him, leaving him desperate enough to ask for your help as his best friend.
tags/warnings: SMUT! MDNI! barely proofread lol, heeseungs a professional gamer⊠idk shit about that tho, youâre his best friend, league of legend mention, oral (m. rec), face fucking, deepthroating obv, praise? heeseung whimpers and whines here and there, name calling bc he calls her a perv hehe, reader touches herself and orgasms bc of his whimpering, cum swallowing, first time writing JUST a blowjob & ball fondling hehe and more probably! [3.3k words]
đ€: im so scared this was only supposed to be like 1k words but i cant shut the fuck up ever.
MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT!
itâs been awhile since youâve had heeseung linger around your apartment for hours or even days like this. between his time spent with his now ex girlfriend and his professional gaming career, you had rarely seen him. only relying on occasional short lunch meetings or quick coffee runs.
itâs not that his ex disliked you, but more so disliked that you and heeseung happened to be an extremely attractive pair of friends and hated that people would confuse you both as a couple rather than heeseung and her.
you missed your best friend, and it comforted you that he returned those feelings.Â
before heeseung had stepped foot into a relationship with his ex, he would spend half of his time at your apartment. especially when he had a competition that was near.Â
âare you nervous?â you ask him, watching as he packs little things he left at your apartment into a small suitcase for the gaming league. it was only one city away but these sorts of things take an entire weekend.Â
heeseung hums, âiâm confident.â you know heâs not lying either. thereâs not much you know about gaming, or specifically, league of legendsâbut according to your mutual friends, heeseung seems to be a god at the game. yet, he seemed so antsy about something.
âso what are you gonna do about your little pre-competition ritual,â you hope to lighten his mood, easing him of whatever that was on his mind.
âwhat ritual?â
you clear your throat, âoh, um. your blowjob ritual..?â
the question was asked in a light hearted way, but heeseung didnât react in such a way at all. the ritual, as you called it, was something heeseung accidentally created a few years ago when he had first gone pro. his situationship at the time gave him head right before he left as a sexy goodluck and a reminder of what he had waiting for him when he got back, but that day he had carried and won the competition for his entire team.Â
the next year after that he had gotten with his girlfriend and had shyly asked her to suck him off, to which she agreed and it had officially become a routine for every competition, including smaller, less meaningful ones.
âyou okay, hee?âÂ
âcan i ask you something?â he suddenly speaks up, voice way louder than he intended, causing the both of you to cringe at the volume. âs-sorry.. i just need to ask you something.â
you nod slowly, âyeah, anything. is everything okay?â
heeseung thinks for a few moments before speaking again, âitâs a little personal and itâs okay if you are uncomfortable with this and you absolutely do not have to say yes but i need to at least ask you.â
âheeseung just say it.â
âcan you give me a blowjob before my competition this weekend?â
your reaction comes in three stages. the both of you stare at each other in silence for about three minutes before you burst out in laughter, which also lasts about three more minutes. but when you see heeseungs panicked expression, you go silent again.
âwait⊠seriously?âÂ
heeseung swallows before shaking his head timidly. he debated laughing along with you and passing it off as a complete joke but he felt the need to follow through. the room is silent again. your fingers subconsciously play with the zipper on his suitcase as you think about the question he just proposed to you.Â
your best friend, whom youâve experienced half your life with, just asked you if you could give him head before one of his league of legends competitions.
what was the right answer here?
âyou.. you don't have to,â heeseungs heart feels like itâs about to fall out of his chest. why on earth would he ask such a thing to his only female friend? no less, his best friend.
it was a joke. yeah, a joke! oh my god, why would i ask that, you pervert! you shouldâve seen your face! you guys joke like this all the time, this is no different. he could totally play this off coolly.Â
âitâs fucking stupid, i know. but it seriously helps me and you know she would do it for me everytime.â he begins rambling without even realizing it. the air is so thick you would have to take a chainsaw to it. ây-you arenât her, yeah, but i donât knowâit genuinely gets me through the competitions.â
heeseung lets out a shaky breath, âjust forget it. ignore what i said.â
âwell, no heeseung,â you cut him off, âi canât just forget that you seriously asked me something like that.â
âplease donât make this awkward. you can say no and we can forget this happened.â
you could tell heeseung wanted to rip his tongue out, and to see your best friend this distressed over something so silly made you want to drop everything and get rid of those feelings for him.Â
âi mean, i never said no, did i..?âÂ
heeseung looks up, meeting your gaze with a shocked expression, âwhat?â
âyeah,â you nod, âit doesnât hurt to think about it, right? itâs not like youâre asking me to completely fuck youâa blowjob wouldnât hurt us right? especially if itâs going to help you.â
he blinks. heeseung might think youâre going insane, and heâs the one that asked you for the blowjob. no way you were actually considering this for him.
what did he do in his past life to gain such a supportive, pretty best friend.
âso⊠youâll think about it?â your best friend's voice is quiet when he asks, like heâs scared to speak up any louder. âlike, seriously?â
âyeah,â nodding your head, you flash him a reassuring smile. agreeing to suck off your friend before his professional video game competition, a totally normal request.
when heeseung leaves your apartment, you immediately cuss yourself out. why the fuck would you practically agree to that?Â
but when you think about telling the boy no, your heart cracks. why? you donât know. but what you do know is that you would rather die than look at his big sad brown eyes when you tell him you can't give him a special blowjob for his special day.
you were no pro at sucking dick, but you were dedicated to this friendship.
heeseung bounced his leg with nervousness and anticipation. you texted him that you were on the way to his hotel, which wouldâve been normal and completely fine considering you attend all of his comps, but today was different.
you never answered his question.
he wonders if maybe you forgot about it. he also hopes you didnât forget. ever since he asked you the big question, heeseung couldnât get you out of his mind.
every night leading up to today, heâd lie awake staring at his ceiling trying to push every image of you sitting pretty between his legs out of his mind. the feeling of his cock hardening to the thought of you made him want to dive out of the nearest window.
itâs not like he didnât think you were hot or that the idea of being intimate with you disgusted him, but itâs the fact that he promised to never be like every other guy.
the two of you were very close. from cuddling while watching movies to holding hands in a crowded area to heeseung beating up creepy men at dive bars for youâyou both had a tight knit friendship. and he always promised that he would never cross that line. he might be a total loser but he liked to consider himself a gentleman at the same time.
that day, he did. yet you were still attending something that meant the world to him when you couldâve told him to fuck off and die.
four knocks at the door rips heeseung away from his thoughts.
with sweaty hands and knees that felt like jelly, heeseung grips the door knob and opens it, plastering the fakest smile he could muster up. âhey.â did his voice crack? fuck my life.Â
âhi!â you hold up two bags filled with a variety of snacks with a large smile on your face, âi brought some stuff for this weekend.â
he clears his throat and steps to the side, letting you enter his hotel room. heeseung averts his gaze to the ceiling as you walk by him, afraid of letting his eyes stay on youâwhat if he accidentally looks at your ass?
âwhat time does it start today?â you ask, completely unaware of the emotional distress your male best friend was going through. so nonchalant and unmoving. maybe you did forget afterall.Â
heeseung takes a seat at the desk in his hotel room, where he had a temporary p.c. set up in case he needed a practice game. âuhh, itâs at six this time.â
âjeez⊠you guys won't be leaving until late then.â you glance at the clock and back to him. he has to leave very soon. how do you casually start giving your best friend a blowjob within the next fifteen minutes.
âyeah, you know of all people that these things can go for hours. youâre gonna be there for the last few rounds right?â
you nod, wondering if heeseung could notice the way youâre practically gawking at him. was he always this hot? itâs stupid question when youâre fully aware of how attractive heeseung was and currently is. maybe it was the way he was dressed up for his competition tonight, or the way he leaned back on his hands and spread his legs comfortably.Â
the baggy black hoodie that you knew he was wearing by itself with nothing underneath paired with his baggy jeans that sat so perfectly on his hips. you were fully aware that you were checking out your best friend. heâs fucking hot, why else would you agree to do any of this?
you wonder if heâs thought about this as much as you have. is he nervous? is he vocal? how long does it take for him to get hard and how big is he?
âhey,â you donât know where the confidence is coming from, but you find yourself kneeling in front of him with your hands on his knees, âyouâre gonna do great and win this. like you always do. iâll make sure of it.â
heeseung almost chokes on his own spit when you suddenly slip between his legs, âwha- what are you doing..?â
âdid you not want my help? or did you forget?â you ask him, genuine confusion. âi-if you already-â
âno!â heeseung cuts you off, grabbing your hand with his. âi mean, i still do. i just didnât think you were down.â
you rub your other hand up his thigh, fingers mere centimeters away from his crotch area. so close to where he needs you, yet so far. âof course i am. what good are best friends if they canât help each other out?â
heeseungs breath hitches when your hand grazes the zipper of his jeans. he lets go of your other hand and you take it as a cue to keep going.
âjust let me take care of you, hee.â
and for the first time ever, that nickname made his cock twitch.
just the view he had of you sitting pretty between his thighs, hesitant but still full of confidence as you softly palmed him through his jeans was enough for him to be leaking.
âcan iâŠâ you ask quietly, fingers on the button of his jeans. he nods once and gulps as you immediately pop the button open and move to the zipper. it feels like hours before youâre finally pulling his jeans down below his hips.Â
you canât lie and say the bulge of his hardening cock, covered by his calvin kleins, wasnât making your mouth water. you push his hoodie up slightly, the way your cold fingertips hit his lower stomach as you grab the waistband of his boxers has his stomach tensing under your touch. you let out a small gasp when his cock almost springs out of his boxers.
your best friend is packing.Â
heeseung almost chuckles when he catches your reaction.Â
âdonât laugh.â
âiâm not.â
âi can see it!â you argue back.
heeseung rolls his eyes, âplease just continue.âÂ
âi won't if you keep up that attitude. you know we have less than fifteen minutes.â you retort after hearing him scoff.Â
âi can miss rehearsals.â
âheeseu-â
âgod, please let me just fuck your mouth.â
oh my god? were you supposed to be turned on? you bite your lip and look down in his lap, taking his cock in your hand with a soft but firm grip. you lean forward and let spit slowly drip from your mouth as you start pumping him.Â
heeseung lets out a quiet groan and you look up at himâwide eyes that are practically asking, is this good? you continue to gently fist his cock, getting him nice and hard before you start using your mouth on his.Â
âi hope you win.â is all you say before you kiss his tip and sink your mouth onto him.
the boy is practically seeing stars. you just started and heâs already moaning like a bitch. it felt so good, he canât rip his gaze from you, watching the way your lips wrap around him tightly and your cheeks hollow out as you literally suck him in.Â
âfuck, like thatâŠâ his hand finds sanctuary wrapped around your hair, not yet pushing you down on his cock completely, but more so as guidance.Â
you let go out his cock with a pop and continue pumping him with your fist, licking the underside of his base as you make direct eye contact. he lets out a groan and lets his head fall back.
âyou donât have to hold back heeseung,â you mumble, but the lust was evident in your tone. âdonât be gentle, this is for you.â
âholy fuck, donât say that.â you giggle at his response and smile against his tip before taking him back into your mouth. heeseung grips your hair tighter and pushes you further down his cock per your request. he can hear you inhale deeply through your nose as you attempt to take all of him. but of course you canât.Â
you stroke what you canât fit and let heeseungs hand guide you up and down his cock. he uses all self control to not thrust into your mouth. heeseung hisses through his teeth every time your lips tighten around the tip of his dick, feeling somewhat more sensitive than he usually is.Â
a guttural moan rips from his throat when your hand comes up to squeeze his balls, offering a helping hand in making him cum soon. time was ticking. but heeseung did not care whatsoever, especially after that move.
he almost wishes he knew how fucking good you were at giving head before all of this. your mouth was so warm, wet and tight around his cockâhe was in heaven. heeseung genuinely thinks this is one of the best blowjobs heâs ever gotten. his hips buck, suddenly pushing his cock deep inside of your mouth and hitting the back of your throat. you cough around his cock in surprise but it only spurs your best friend on.
maybe it was the fact that youâre his best friend. sure, itâs not taboo by any means, but there are lines that are never to be crossed in these sorts of relationshipsâholy shit, heeseung was on cloud 9.Â
âoh my god,â he whines, âyouâre so good at this. fuckâgod, donât stop.â
his words, his moans, his whinesâthey all send tingles down your spine and straight to your core. you canât deny the throb in your cunt though.Â
you continue to squeeze and fondle his balls as you let heeseung completely guide your head deeper onto his cock, thrusting his hips upwards and meeting your mouth halfway. your other hand grips his thigh, keeping you stable and relaxed as he abuses your throat with the head of his cock.Â
the groan that leaves your mouth when he tugs your hair tighter is accidental, you look up at heeseung. he looks beautiful like this. a pink blush across his cheeks, damp forehead, and hazy eyes. you were surely dripping through your panties now.Â
âyeah? you like t-this too, huh?â heeseung spits out. now youâre almost jealous of every woman heâs managed to pull, because fuck did that just turn you on even more. âwant me to use your mouth however i want?â
you moan in response, nodding your head. heeseung lets out a long exhale as he shoves your head down his cock again. tears line your eyes and threaten to spill over, trying to relax your throat to take him completely.Â
ây-youâre taking me so good, yâknow that? so good, baby.â
immediately, your hand that was once on heeseungs thigh is making its way down and into your shorts. you were soaked.Â
heeseung lets out another choked moan when he notices your hand in your shorts, circling your clit as you let him fuck your throat. how badly he also wishes you would just take those stupid shorts off and let him see exactly what youâre doing, he yearns to see you play with yourself one day.Â
âplaying with yourself while you let me use this pretty mouthâŠâ heeseung groans, lifting your head for a mere second before pushing you down his cock again. your hand tightens around his balls and he almost whimpers at the sensation. âyou like this just as much, fucking pervert.â
you let out a whine, tears falling down your cheeks, you were already so close.
heeseung gets rougher, guiding your head much faster than before. your lips were burning and there was spit completely covering your other hand. but still, you continue to suck and lick at his cock as if it were your last meal, letting him force his way down your throat.Â
ââm so close. so fucking close.â now you're both whimpering. âfuckfuckfuck, gonna cum soon, baby. keep going, please, hahâyou feel so fucking good.â
his words were enough for you to hit your peak, an orgasm washing through your body immediately. youâre squirming and whining, sending vibrations down heeseungs cock.Â
âah, fuck,â he continues to let words fall out of his mouth in the form of broken moans, ây-yeah, âts so good. feels so good.â heeseung suddenly pushes your head all the way down, your nose making contact with the soft hair as the base of his cock, and he cums.Â
thick, hot ropes of cum covering the back of your throat. youâre gagging and choking at the full feeling, wanting to pull back so badly, but he doesnât stopânot until heâs milked dry.Â
after what feels like an eternity, he lets go and you pull back, gasping and coughing but swallowing most of his cum in the process. your hands fly to your neck as you massage it and catch your breath.
heeseung on the other hand was breathing heavily. that was the best orgasm heâs ever had.
âholy fuck.â
you look up at the male, who seemed like he was about to pass out, âhee, you have to go.â your voice is raspy and weak.Â
âi canât.â he responds, out of breath. âthat was amazing. i canât move.â
you stand up and pull him up with you, balancing him when he stumbles forward. âseriously, you have to go now.â now youâre putting his cock away for him, he hisses loudly at the feeling but you ignore it and zip up his jeans. ânow.â
heeseung sighs and looks down at you, âdid you.. get off like that?â
you tighten your lips and nod hesitantly.
âgod. god, youâre amazing.â he breathes out, wanting nothing more than to throw you down on the bed and fuck you until he physically cannot. âplease, please be here when i get back, iâm literally begging you.â
you nod at him, reassuring him that youâll be here when heâs done as you usher him out of the hotel room. âi will, hee. just go.â you suppose this is what best friends are for after all.
âand do not show up to the comp tonight or i will be hard the entire fucking time.â
#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen hard thoughts#heeseung hard thoughts#heeseung x reader#heeseung fanfic#heeseung smut#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung fanfic#kpop smut#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#enhypen fanfic
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Is there a polar opposite of transphobia?
Like Iâm a newly transitioned trans man and suddenly everyone wants a piece of me. In a weird way. Like people have started asking me to join committees and talk to youth groups and shit so they have their ârepresentationâ. Iâm now the token trans person. I live in a small lefty town. People either want to ask me allllll the questions or they are too scared to even talk to me in case they offend me. Suddenly everyone wants to be my friend. I feel like Iâve joined a club I did not agree to sign up to. Like is this normal? Is there a term for it? I have a lot of gay male friends who are awesome, no other trans people local. Iâve started connecting with people online.
I mean some people have been cunts for sure. But mostly itâs nauseating fawning. I know this is a stupid thing to be complaining about but I guess Iâm curious.
Iâm not that special, Iâm actually just an angry little man.
My brother dear, what you are experiencing is a very common combination of the growing visibility & tokenization of being a newly out marginalized person, and the massive increased authority, social trust, social value that comes with being a man.
Welcome to male privilege baby, to put a spin on a far more undermining phrase that typically gets hurled at trans femmes. You will be considered a trustworthy authority on trans issues, a valuable contributor to panels and workshops, a needed (but also highly convenient to access) form of "diversity" for a workplace, a welcome attendee at all manner of events, and you'll be deferred to over women, especially trans women, for pretty much the entire rest of your life, if you continue to remain out about the trans side of things.
Guys like us are invited, centered, included, listened to, treated with respect, treated with WARMTH, viewed as intelligent, perceptive, sensitive, safe, trustworthy, reliable, and desirable to include. In the eyes of the cis public, we are a "safe" kind of trans person who does not make people uncomfortable to look at and who doesn't challenge their pre-existing understanding of gender hierarchy; when they listen to us, they get to trust in the certainty of a MAN giving them information, but they can also feel comfortable and safe around us as a kind of enlightened, sensitive nonthreatening figure.
We're men who can can explain sexism right back to women. We're trans people who went from being subjugated as women to being rewarded with privilege as dudes. In this way, trans men being positioned as an authority figure reinforces the existing gender hierarchy, which feels soothing and right to people's brains.
You will have to be conscious of this power differential for the rest of your life, around cis and trans women alike, because otherwise it plays out in a pretty traditionally sexist fashion: people (especially women) will go quiet when you start speaking, you will be given credit for ideas that were a collective effort, your emotions will be more likely to be taken seriously and seen as a sign of principle rather than weakness, and you will be regarded as special and memorable while dozens of other people and their concerns are passed over.
Another factor that is at play here is a phenomenon that is less specifically gendered, because it does happen to trans women too, and that's the phenomenon of cis groups making the newly-out trans person their token and educator, because typically it is the newly out person whom they have the most access to and power over.
The moment that a trans person transitions they immediately start getting singled out as an expert and resource on the trans experience, asked to lead workshops at their jobs and explain concepts to people and attend events and sit on panels. I think on some intuitive level cis people kinda *know* that the newly out are in a vulnerable, uncertain state and have fewer communities ties and less experience than more seasoned trans people do, and so they make the ideal "translator" of trans experiences to them as an audience.
In cis people's minds, you're not gonna push back, you're not going to complicate their narratives, you're not gonna be tired of answering offensive questions, and you will be freely available to them as a resource, because you've just come out. You'll put a friendly face on transition, one marked by newness and hope, rather than be jaded, complicated, or assertive at them. That's their expectation.
It makes no logical sense to make a newly out member of the community the arbiter of transness or the educator on the trans experience, but it DOES make sense that a powerful group would view such a disempowered and disconnected (relatively speaking) member of the trans community to be the most attractive to include.
Of course, this might not be true to who you actually are. But on a gut level, this is how the newly out trans person is typically seen: nonthreatening, moldable, convenient, so thankful to be included that they won't be angry. And you will be doubly rewarded for fulfilling that role if you are a man.
The only way to upend this narrative being forced onto you is for you to speak up, every single time you are invited to an event, and demand that just as many trans women be included in that event as trans men. Make sure to have a nice list of experienced, wise trans femme friends whom you can recommend as speakers and co-panelists in your pocket.
More often than not, you will be thanked by cis people and rewarded for having the brilliant idea of including women in a conversation about gender minority status. How the trans women in the equation get treated, well, you'll need to pay close attention to, and be ready to stand up and speak out the moment any passive aggressive exclusionary bio-essentialist fuckshit gets going. You can do it! And lots of times you ARE the person with the power to set things right. You're trans and you're being singled out, but you also are a man.
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Farewell, my love: part 2
Summary: In the midst of a battle, y/n realizes that their only way to victory would be through her sacrifice. Determined with her decision to lead an army of soldiers to the frontlines, there was nothing that could hold her back. Because she was sure that if she continued living on she wouldnât survive any more of what was blooming between Elain and Azriel.
Pairing: Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain
Word count: 4.2K
Warnings: Angst, panic attacks, jealousy, and just more angst than before Iâm sorry (not) :)
part 1
âââââââ
He couldnt breathe. It was too much, too many feelings flooding him at once and it felt like little needles were prickling him all over his skin. It was getting hot and if he hadnât been leaning on Elain he was sure that he wouldâve actually fallen down on his knees. He was breathing faster and the constant flood of emotions and thoughts werenât making this any better. He was scared. Scared to even think what this meant.
âAzriel, sweetheart, talk to me.. hey, hey look at me.â
But he couldnât. He, he needed air. He needed space, because this didnât make any sense. Why now? Why when he finally found the happiness he was looking for, for so many years? Why when he finally settled his heart for another and dared to bare his soul to her? Why now, when his fucking mate decided to take on something thatâd cost her her life? Why was he put in a position where he couldnât decide what and who to choose?
He still heard her heart, how it beat almost the same as his. Warmth spread around him and he looked up again to see the cause of all this turmoil inside of him. There, he saw her. His mate. His. Oh god, he had a mate. He felt tears already rolling down his face, but he didnât care. Somehow, only looking at her already made him much calmer than before. She still looked at him with wide eyes as if she herself couldnât believe what had just transpired between them and he couldnât blame her, because neither did he. There was a sudden urge to just hold her and take away all her pain and-
âAzriel.â
He felt two soft hands cradling his face and turning it to the side to make his golden hazel eyes meet with brown ones. It caused him to break out of this bubble that was forming and he was brought back to reality. Elain, oh Elain. He- oh god- he really forgot about her for a second, because everything, well everything was so sudden and he actually didnât mean to, because he loved Elain, with all his heart- his heart, he already gave it to her, he was hers as much as she was his- and he already felt another set of tears forming in his eyes.
âSweetheart, I want to help you, but you have to help me here a bit yeah?â She said while looking at him with soft shiny eyes and a small smile. The smile he fell in love with.
âTry to breathe along with me.â He was still shaking as Elain lead his hand towards her chest- her heart- to make him calm down and follow the same rhythm as hers. He tried to focus, he really did, but the constant flood of emotions really distracted him. So with all his strength he breathed in and out just as Elain did. He brought his forehead towards hers and closed his eyes. In. And out.
âJust like that, you are doing so great.â He felt a kiss on his nose and he had to smile at that. He was calming down a little.
âThank you âlainâ he rasped out.
And when he opened his eyes, Elain looked at him with such intensity that he needed a second to think. He really does love her huh. While the heartbeat of another was becoming more silent, it still was there. He took a deep breath and took the hands on his face in his own. Looking her in the eyes, he kissed the inner part of Elainâs hands and mustered up another set of words to reassure her.
âI am feeling better.â Elain smiled at that, however the confusion was still present in her eyes, and- oh god- she didnât make this easier for him when she looked up at him with that soft gaze.
âWould you mind sharing with me what just happened?â She asked in an almost hushed tone, as if she didnât want the otherâs around them to know.
How was he supposed to explain to her what had just happened, when he himself still hadnât any time to think. When so many thoughts were whirling around in his head and he couldnât grasp to control them.
Elain mustâve noticed his confusion and hesitation as she reassured him.
âIts okay you can take your time. But you really got me scared here for a second Azriel and I, I just want to help you and know if you are-â she choked on her last words and something in him felt so bad for not telling her instantly. For not choosing her instantly. For having thoughts of another in his mind. For feeling what another woman is feeling, for hearing a heartbeat and feeling a connecting string to another and it not being her? How could he tell her that it took all the strength in him to not just turn around and walk towards his mate to hold her in his arms, while on the other hand his mind and heart is yelling at him for forgetting all the promises he made to the woman standing infront of him for a second. A second that is a second too much. Because all the space in his heart is already reserved for Elain, there shouldnât be any space left for another. But how could he explain to Elain that with every growing second he itches to just follow his instincts.
âI know this is confusing, trust me, I- I am confused but I, I- canât and-â he tried to stay calm and took a breath. Elain took his hands in hers again and encouraged him to go on with her eyes whenever he felt ready.
But ready he would never be, because just as he thought that he had everything under control, something inside of him jolted and made his head turn around sharply towards y/n. Alongside that, he felt a disgusting amount of hurt rolling over him that it took his breath away.
There she stood, tears rolling down her eyes while still looking at him. While Cassian was holding her wrist and trying to turn her towards him. He saw that he was saying stuff to her, but all the voices were quieted down by that ringing noise again. Now, if only he understood that she was crying because she saw her mate seeking comfort in another woman and that Cassian, along with his other friends, was only trying to understand the situation, was trying to comfort his friend, he wouldnât have swatted off Elainâs hand this fast. He wouldnât have taken charge towards Cassian. No, because this? This was pure male instinct taking over him. A male was touching his mate. She was crying.
His brain screamed at him to think for a moment before he took such rash decisions, but again, the bond had just snapped and all his emotions were running high, thoughts suppressed down by instincts. So he did what every mate wouldâve done in his situation. He went to protect his mate.
âââââââââ
The last thing y/n heard was the sound of Morâs cries and Emerieâs words, because after that everything seemed to go silent and only a ringing was heard. A ringing from her opposite site, right where Azriel was standing. So she looked at him, looked how his eyes widened and how a string was forming to connect them. No. This, this couldnât be right?
But an overwhelming amount of woody notes hit her nose and she became painfully aware that Azriel was unconsciously sending over his emotions. So much confusion and helplessness. She⊠she was his mate?
She felt the tears forming in her eyes while she didnât know how she should feel about this revelation. The shadowsinger, the one person she has loved desperately for decades, the one person whose attention she never fully got, the one standing besides another, holding her hand, that person was his mate? And the bond snapped right before she signed her death warrant? Oh how cruel. How cruel all of this was, hasnât she suffered enough?
She felt like she couldnât breathe, this was too much. And then Elain had to cradle her hands around his face. Her mate. She was touching her mate. She was furious, but realized too quickly that she couldnât do anything about it. Because why did she feel less and less of Azrielâs emotions as he leaned his forehead against hers? This hurt, this hurt so much. Someone shouldâve just gotten a knife and pierced it through her chest, because it wouldâve promised her a less hurtful death.
This was agony, as she felt her brain carving in this sight in her memory so that she always remembered that even when the bond snapped between them, something so sacred, Azriel still chose another woman over her.
There was no place for jealousy in her when she saw Azriel placing little kisses in Elainâs hands as she only felt an enormous amount of pain and loss and grief, grief for something she didnât have to begin with.
She felt like she was dying if it was not for Cassian noticing her sudden silence while the others were still arguing.
âHey.. y/n, hey, whatâs wrong? Hey-â
but she couldnât hear, she couldnât understand⊠why was his mate not looking at her? Why was it that another male was seeing her and not him? So she tried to look for something inside of her, she had to try breathing again, she needed to pull, pull on something.
And finally, Azriel turned her way, finally he looked at her. One moment he still had that sad look on his face when it suddenly turned into this eerie and intense gaze that felt like a predator sizing up his prey. She had never seen that look on him, his stare sending shivers down her spine. And suddenly he was moving.
âââââââââ
His expression was carved in stone, a chilling coldness radiating from his gaze. Fists already clenched and ready to pounce on someone, feet moving with fast precision and his target clear. The bond in him shining brighter and encasing him completely. He was going to protect his mate and make the male pay for hurting her.
âY/n you are scaring us, whatâs going on- oh- Az what are you- YO WHAT THE FU-â and Cassian felt a scrunch in his nose. But before he could stand up from the ground he felt Azriel already pouncing on him. What. the. fuck.
Azriel didnât care. Didnât care if the male in front of him was nearing his death with every punch he threw his way, and when he felt other arms trying to force him away from the male, he growled and felt so much strength course through his body, because no matter what, he was going to make this male pay and no one could prevent him from doing it.
No one; but apparently a strong pull within him. Because he felt his mate again and looked up instantly from the ground where he was just punching Cassian. And from this near he could see her eyes more clearly- a green color with a soft touch of brown and blue. She was ethereal and he was mesmerized by this woman standing in front of him. His mate was gorgeous. Just like that his heart started pounding faster again and for a moment he felt his ears reddening, because how could this beautiful being belong all to him?
âAre you alright?â He almost wheezed out at her, because he lost all his stamine to fight Cassian- wait. CASSIAN. Almost instantly he scrambled up and looked down to see a bloody faced Cassian laying on the ground.
âWhat has gotten into you Azriel?!â Rhysand screamed at him. And rightly so. The High Lord had struggled to get into his shadowsingerâs mind to yell at him to stop after he couldnât get him off of Cassian. But he had been met with an iron wall, which is why he couldnât reach Azriel.
âBrother I donât know, if you just got possessed by something but damn if you needed to let off some steam, warn a guy beforehand yeah?â
Cassian tried to lighten up the mood a bit, because what had just transpired was far from normal, far from the Azriel they knew. And quite frankly it scared him and made him worry for his friend. From the corner of his eye he saw Nesta rushing out the tent she was in with what looked like some healing supplies. Thank god, he couldnât feel his face.
Azriel looked frantic. His head was spinning and he couldnât think clearly. What had he just done? He looked around him and saw his friends attentively staring at him, some worried, some scared of what he might do next.
âWhat were you even thinking?â He met the cold stare of his mate. Of y/n. God. A mate. She wiped the tears of her face with fast movements and stood tall again. And before he could respond her
âAzriel..?â And there, the voice that made his toes curl whenever he heard it. However, he wasnât brave enough to turn around and face her. Amongst all, she had seen him do this. She had seen this side of him, but most of all she was probably confused by his actions or maybe she got a clue, he didnât know. He needed to get out of here, but their situation didnât really allow him, as he was reminded of their conflicting conversation before the bond snapped. As if nothing happened, as if the bond hadnât snapped, and as if he hasnât caused such a big scene mere minutes ago, y/n turned to Rhysand once more.
âBreaking this to the soldiers will be a tough one, I am sure all of them will understand that our charge means nothing but promised death. I just hope theyâll follow along.â
Then a pause. He saw her trembling slightly but whatever it was she snapped out of it and a deathly coldness radiated off of her.
âI will wait for your command Rhysand.â There she stood, like a perfectly trained warrior, someone who was drilled into this role.
âY/n are you just going to ignore wh-â
âRhysand.â She really was going to do this?
âWe are in the midst of something bigger. Our enemies-â she pointed towards the Northern side, where she knew Hybern soldiers resided.
â-they wonât wait for us to take our sweet time to discuss these matters. We donât know when they will charge next, but damn it if they get to us before we get to them, all of us will die on this battlefield, I can assure you that! We need to move and we need to do it faster than them.â She heaved out.
Rysand looked at her with an expression that pained her, he looked conflicted, like he was struggling to switch between his roleâs of a brother and friend and his role as the High Lord of the Night Court.
Of course he knew that all y/n was saying was true, but damn it, heâs got the feeling that if he doesnât interfere now, if he doesnât press on the matter more, he would regret it for the rest of his life. That Azriel may regret it for the rest of his life. He looked at him then, at Azrielâs disheveled and unmoving form, as if he was in a trance. He waited for him to intervene again, but when nothing came out of his brotherâs mouth, he made the decision.
But not before talking to his mate. Are you sure of this? She asked in his mind. Weâve got no other choice Feyre he returned sadly but determined. And then he spoke out what he always feared most towards a member of his close circle.
âYou may leave whenever you feel ready. Thank you for all of your services soldier.â He had to. he needed to switch to his High Lord tone, because if he didnât get ahold of himself it would mean their ultimate death. Of everyone.
Y/n just sharply nodded towards him, because they couldnât do emotional farewells now, not now, when she knew that she and all the others would break down and they wouldnât actually let her go. And by that she would just endanger the lives of everyone. She didnât want that. So she and Rhysand had to act their roles. With that, without taking another look at her friends, she turned around and headed towards their military base.
But she was suddenly grasped by another force that turned her around once again.
âYouâre insane if you think Iâll just let you go!â
The way her heart started fluttering faster when he hold her hand was almost too pathetic. However, she couldnât do this with him. Before, this was always what she had wanted, but now⊠now everything has changed, she couldnât get herself to be influenced by his sweet words.
She looked him in the eyes then.
âPlease let go of me Azriel, you are making this more difficult than it already is.â
And she told him the truth. This was difficult for her. Knowing that her mate stood right before her, that she may have a chance to maybe, she didnât know but .. but it hurt that only now, only now that he was forced by the bond he started to care for her. This is definitely not what she wanted, not this way. So against everything that the bond demanded of her, she pushed his hand out of the way, but he grabbed for her again.
âDifficult? I am making this difficult? Are you out of your mind? So you want me to stand here as if nothing happened between us? As if we arenât-â
âDonât end your sentence shadowsinger.â And he looked pained that y/n almost surrendered to kiss his frown away and take away all the sadness in his eyes. She snapped out of it. She couldnât do this to him.
âYou want to act like I belong to you all of a sudden? Who gives you the right to tell me what or what not to do? I made my decision, end of discussion. So now if you would please kindly let go of my hand.â
But he didnât. Rather he strengthened his grip around her.
âY/n, I understand that this is very bad timing, I understand your anger, but we need to talk about this before you make decisions of life and death, donât you understand!â
He was trying so hard to find the right words, afraid of saying something that may aggravate the situation even more. Afraid of losing his mate before even having a chance at life with her. God, he still couldnât believe it.
âOkay, then I got a question for you and you have to be honest with me.â
She needed to stop, she needed to stop self sabotaging herself.
âAsk me and Iâll answer truthfully y/n, I swear it to you.â
He didnât know what came over him, but all he wanted for now was bring his mate back to safety, have more time to think this through more thoroughly.
âYou want me to come back with you, but can you actually promise me that you are going to accept this bond with me? Are you actually going to leave Elain for me? Someone you chose out of love rather than obligation? Be truthful shadowsinger.â
Whatever he expected her to ask him, it wasnât this. He- no he, he couldnât make that decision now, not now, he needed more time to think, for the past minutes he hasnât been in his right mind so how .. how could he possibly answer her without giving her false hopes.
âIâŠâ and he looked into her pain filled eyes. He visibly shook as he felt her side of the bond. He was causing this pain?
âY/n, you need to understand that I canât- I canât promise you that now. I donât want to hurt you, but Elain she-â he thought of choosing his words carefully âWe have been together for a while now, and I canât lie to you that I suddenly stopped loving her because the bond snapped. I am confused and I need more time-â
she gasped at that and god he wished he could make this easier, could prevent her from getting hurt
â-and I am aware that this is the most selfish I can get. Please, just, please donât go there-â
her tears were already falling uncontrollably and he couldnât hold back his own ones. He wished someone just ended him right then and there, so that he hadnât had to see the agony in her eyes.
â-please allow me to just have more time so that I can sort this all out, I donât want to hurt any of you, it is the last thing I want-â
âDo you actually hear yourself?â she whispered in a tone that made him want to stab himself for making her sound so helpless.
âDo you hear how selfish you are? I tell you what shadowsinger, if I canât be your first choice I dont want to be a choice at all. I have loved you for so many years already, I have desperately wanted what you gave other women in your life, but if a bond is what gets you acting all caring towards me, then you can go to hell with that.â
What.
She loved him?
How come he never noticed her, how did he let it get to this point?
â⊠for how long?â he asked with widened eyes.
He was scared of the answer and judging by her reaction it wasnât something he was prepared for.
âToo long for me to count.â
She sounded almost resigned, almost like she just wanted to be put out of her misery.
She felt the stares of the others, so she looked behind Azriel and saw how everyone was holding their breaths and waiting for something to happen.
One piece of eyes, however, pierced through her, one pair of hurtful glassy eyes that made y/n happy and sad at the same time. But she couldnât blame the woman, and to be honest, she couldnât blame Azriel as well. They chose each other and she was the other woman. She tried to stay calm.
âAzriel⊠you have to forgive me for my outburst, but try to see it from my perspective. I know our situation isnât quite fair, but we canât choose fate. This is where it has brought us. Do yourself and everyone a favor and go back to your woman. She is waiting for you.â
It took everything in her to choose these words, to fight against her will, to fight against her desires, her want to sling her arms around him and claim him for herself, to show everyone that he belonged to her as much as she belonged to him, to love and care for him how she had wanted to for so many years. To look him in the eyes and and declare her love to him and to finally feel that mouth of his on hers to test if it tasted how she had always imagined.
But she couldnât.
While her words pierced through his soul, his grip on her loosened and she took this as her chance.
âI am sorry, I wish.. I just wish I could have been better, but- but y/n this doesnât mean that you have to die for this.â
âIâd rather not live when my mate loves and nurtures another, Azriel, so please forgive me for-â
âBut you donât know what the future holds!â
She applauded his resilience and to be frank she didnât expect this much fight for her from him, but it still wasnât enough.
âDont act like you would actually choose me Shadowsinger, you never did.â
And with that she broke the last piece of his soul that was still standing. Because, because she was right. He never chose her so why would she believe him? This beautiful, strong woman in front of him, who has carried so much hurt because of him, was he selfish for asking her to live?
He was numb. And he just wanted this anguish to end. A sudden hand on his shoulder made him jolt, while he heard y/n talk again.
âLet go of me, let go of that little piece of me that has formed in the past minutes. It will be easier this way.â Y/n told him with resignation.
No he- he couldnât do that, this couldnât be the end for them. He wanted to step forward but the hand on his shoulder held him back, so he wanted to swat it off, because he had to get to his mate.
But another pair of hands was stopping his way to his mate, so now he got really irritated and tried to fight them off.
âGet your fucking hands off of me-â and his vision suddenly became blurry as he heard his High Lordâs voice in his mind you need to let her go, she has already made a decision for herself. No, no! He was not letting her walk off to her death, he-
and while he tried to fight off every force trying to hold him back from her, he heard her distant voice Farewell, Azriel.
From the corner of his eyes he saw her blurry form walk off and disappear from his vision.
âââââââââ
A/n: Whewww here is the second part! I never imagined I would go this direction or this far with the story but here we are đ First of all I want to thank everyone for your sweet reactions to the first part, this really means a lot to me, because this is my first time writing ever so thank you for your kind words <3 Secondly, I hope this was what you expected for the continuation of the story and that I didnât leave you hanging. I am also open for any ideas and suggestions, so please donât shy away from suggesting <3 The third part will probably come out a bit later than this as I have to focus on uni stuff again, but dont worry I wont leave this story as it is!
Again if you have some feedback, I would love to read what you think, and if you want to be added to the taglist just inform me :)
Oh and please tell me if the taglist worked!
Tag list:
@kingshitonly @phoenix666stuff @blackgirlmagicforever @dragonsandrinks @daughterofthemoons-stuff @tele86 @isa1b2h3 @curlyhairkk @jencole214 @willowpains @thestartitaness @romantasyreader28 @highladyofhogwarts @wrenisrad @minaaminaa8 @meritxellao @blepskies
#azriel angst#azriel x you#azriel x yn#acotar x you#acotar angst#azriel imagine#azriel x reader#acotar x reader#acotar imagine#acotar#farewellmylove#pure angst#this one hurt#love triangle#fated mates#azriel
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lonely
Azriel x fem!Archeron!reader
SUMMARY: Reader, the second Archeron sister, finds herself overwhelmed by the sight of her sisters in their respective happinesses one day. Luckily Azriel stops by her room in time to comfort her.
WARNINGS: feelings of loneliness (real), fluff, Azriel being hot (thatâs a given), slight suggestiveness at the end, first time writing
NOTE: hey, iâm diri! been sort of a silent spectator on this tag for a while but then i wrote this and thought hell why not!!
WORDS: 2.5k
main masterlist PART 2
âąâąâą
The emptiness of loneliness burned hollowly in my chest, blooming when I entered my room at last, stumbled onto my bed.
Pathetically, I just wanted what my sisters had. I didn't dare show it, but I ached to be held, loved, to love fiercely and be happily, healthily devoted to someone.
I wanted to be touched and adored. I wanted to build a life with someone. To not have to look, wish, hope, or dream about it anymore.
My knees curled up under my chin as I sat there in the nest of my bedding, looking blankly at the wall as the tears came.
I hadn't realized that I had been softly weeping until the knock came to my door. Fuck. I heard his soft, beautiful voice announcing himself, asking to come in.
When I don't reply, frozen in terror that he'll come in and see me in this state, Azriel calls my name again in question. I know he can sense me behind the door, and when I sniff, he calls lowly, "I'm coming in."
Panic sweeps through me as he pushes open the door, eyes falling on me in concern as I wipe at my face. The book he borrowed from me goes from his hand to a side table as he comes to me, forgotten. "Hey. Hey, what's going on?" he asks with the softest tenderness I've ever heard him speak. To know that it was reserved for me makes my chest ache for it even more, and another little sob slips from me. He sits on my bed and reaches for me, hands going to my arms and rubbing up and down.
âIâm sorry,â I croak, shaking my head and trying to draw back and wipe my face. He doesnât release me.
âNo,â he says firmly, squeezing my arms. âNo, youâve done nothing wrong. Let me help you.â
I shake my head again, canât seem to stop, trying to wave him off. âItâs not something you can help with,â I rasp. âItâs my own shit, Iâll deal with itââ
âTell me whatâs going on.â His tone brooks no argument.
I canât speak for a long moment, for several long moments. The words are embarrassing, stuck like molasses on my tongue. To say them would be to humiliate myself. But he isnât relenting. I realize that five hundred years of extracting information from people as spymaster had made him patient in a way I could never outpace.
âItâs just hard,â I finally settle on, not quite processing my own words. âItâs hard seeing themâmy sisters, I mean. Sorry, I think Iâm just tired, out of itââ He shakes his head with a squeeze of my arms.
âStop trying to excuse your feelings. Itâs merely how you feel,â he murmurs, watching me carefully. A breath puffs uncomfortably in my chest, but I go on.
âIâve always made myself content in the fact that something like that didnât really happen to people like me. Iâve never known why,â I rasp, the color finally rising in my cheeks as I gear up to admit, âBut Iâmââ I choke. âI just see them and I feel so lonely.â
His expression shutters and his eyes soften. âSweetheart,â he whispers, stroking my arms. To hear that word from his lips is already a shock, but knowing itâs directed at me makes me fall apart more.
âIâm not one for self pity, ever,â I get out as another cry raises the pitch of my voice. âI just feel so alone.â
A huff of a sigh leaves Azrielâs lips and he draws me forward. âCome here.â
My breath shudders in my chest as I try not to lose it, try to calm myself as the tears stream hotly down my face. âIâm sorry,â I whisper again. âI feel ridiculous. It just hurts sometimes. Right here.â I rub my chest where the hollow ache is.
He hums and soon Iâm in his arms. He gently scoops me onto his lap and tucks my head into the crook of his neck. Heâs so warm, so strong, and smells so good that I shudder again and let myself break in his embrace.
His hushing and stroking over my hair lulls me as every bad feeling seeps out of my body. He holds me quietly until my crying ceases, until my shaking stills. Until I am merely breathing tiredly against him.
I could fall asleep like this, could die peacefully here. His hand strokes my hair again. âFeel better?â he asks, his voice a quiet rumble that rumbles in his chest, therefore mine.
I blush profusely at how ridiculous Iâm being, but make no move. I nod. I canât move, canât look at him. I must be the silliest, most ridiculous womanâfemale, I correct mentallyâat my age that heâs ever seen. Heâs centuries old and has a better grip on things than I do. I know he feels bad for me, but any respect he had before must have loosened considerably in the minutes heâs seen me in this state.
As Iâm trying to overcome my embarrassment, he strokes my hair softly and begins on a murmur, âI get this way too. I feel it right in my chest, like you said. I have for a long time.â I donât dare breathe or move. Heâs revealing very vulnerable feelings and I fear one move will scare him off. He sighs. âIt is difficultâseeing everyone pair off and be happy. Just as difficult to see my brothers as it is for you to see your sisters that way. But you arenât alone. Youâre never alone.â
I sigh, whispering haltingly, âI know. Butâit isnât the same, is it?â
He shakes his head. âIt isnât,â he concedes, âBut you shouldnât doubt that youâll find that. Youâre more than deserving of it.â
A little flutter in my chest, and of all things, a smile blooms on my face. âYou are too, Azriel.â
I feel his smile against my hair.
I sigh and draw away even as my body screams in argument, not looking him completely in the eye. âI really am sorry. Forâthis.â I gesture nonsensically between us, eyeing the wet stain at the collar of his shirt with a small wince. âI really am not usually like this,â I grumble.
His soft chuckle draws my eyes to his face, and I find him looking down at me softly, amusedly. âI know. Youâre usually very formidable, self-assured. It was a surprise to see you soâŠâ I raise my brows as he searches for the word, something he usually never has to. âWeighed down,â he settles on.
I donât know what to say. I settle on a small shrug of my shoulder as I take my sleeve and wipe my face again, sighing as a calm settles over me again.
When I glance back over at him, heâs still observing me quietly. âWhat?â I croak.
âNothing,â he says softly with a shrewd yet not unkind look in his eye. âItâs just funny.â I frown, but he continues on before I can interrupt. âYou give yourself a private moment to let it out, then you reset. Like nothing happened.â
I feel a heat in my face at the accuracy.
âItâs funny because, well,â he shrugs, âIt reminds me of myself.â
I glance warily over him with questioning tilt of my head. âYou donât seem like the type to deal in self-pity. Or crying at all for that matter,â I reply wryly.
His lip curls in amusement, and something hot curls in my stomach at the sight of it. My expression remains carefully composed, as it always is. âI have my moments,â is all he says.
I roll my eyes, shifting on the bed and sniffing. âCryptic as always too.â
His laugh is quiet yet rumbling, and even though we donât touch anymore, I feel the sound tumble deliciously through my muscles and bones, all over my body. âThere she is,â he practically drawls, mirth lighting his hazel eyes. Cauldron bloody boil me.
Then he softens again. âBut know that anytime you feel like this, you donât need to wait for a private moment to yourself. Come talk to me,â he offers. Tingling warmth blooms in my chest. In my handful of years since turning fae and finding my place in Velaris, heâs been a kind but somewhat infrequent friend due to his busy nature. âWhat you feel isnât anything to be ashamed of, and Iâd rather you not bottle it all up.â
I eye the impenetrable Spymaster again, brow raised. âBit of the pot calling the kettle black, arenât you?â
He laughs in earnest now, and I watch in wonder as it lightens his features. And again that soundâ
Iâd been careful not to let my foolish mind not delve too deep in daydreaming about the silent, beautiful specter I had met in my house in the human lands those years ago. Everything about the fae then and even now had just seemed so elevated above my little life. And as hard as I worked, as skilled as I had become with my new body and abilities, I still felt like a complete novice, like a schoolgirl amongst grown men and women most days.
So no. I would not be the fool that fell for the male way above her very modest level, not when I knew heâd be too nice about it, and make me feel even more like the fool.
âWhat are you thinking about?â his voice breaks through my reverie. Heâs eyeing me with amusement now, and a hint of fondness.
I force the heat creeping to my cheeks way down within the depths of myself, determined not to make more of a fool of myself than I already have. âJust wondering why you came in here. I wasnâtââ A blush rises to my cheeks in earnest now. âYou couldnât hear me crying from the hall, could you?â
He shakes his head, hands creeping forward over my bedspread as though to placate me. âNo, no. I just came to return the book you let me borrow,â he replies gently, and again my eyes fall to the book he had dropped on the table near my door as he came in to comfort me. Oh. Right. âYou were right. I did like it.â
A small smile creeps up on my lips. âOf course I was right.â He chuckles again, and I relish that I can make him do so.
âWill it inflate your ego terribly if I tell you that you have surprisingly good taste?â he drawls. I let out a playfully indignant noise and gently shove his shoulder.
âSays you. You may be quiet, Shadowsinger, but donât think I havenât noticed you peacocking more than once,â I toss back. He draws closer with a little grin. Holy fuck.
âWell when Iâm as talented as I am, why shouldnât I?â he purrs, the most Rhys-like Iâd ever seen him. I hold onto my composure for dear life.
âYeah, well, you can take your peacocking and incredible talent off my bed and out of my room,â I retort with a scowl, shooing him as I fight blushing like a schoolgirl. He laughs, but slides smoothly off my bed and stands, hands raised in mock surrender.
I realize then that he had taken me from my depressive state, comforted me until I calmed, then goaded me until I smiled and bantered with him again.
His eyes go from mirthful to soft, and a beat passes where heâs looking down at me still sitting on my bed, and me at him. His lips quirk. âIâm glad youâre alright. Come to me with anything. I mean it,â he reiterates with gentle firmness. I nod my head.
He begins to leave, but I blurt his name and he halts. As soon as he looks at me again, I murmur, âThank you.â He nods his head once, eyes kind.
I expect him to turn, to leave. But he steps toward me. I still as his hands gently hold the sides of my head, and he drops a single kiss to my hairline. I donât move or breathe until he leaves the room with one last look at me over his shoulder.
My door snicks shut and a rush of breath leaves my mouth as my hands fly up to my face. My back finds the duvet.
I was fucked.
â
Azriel walks leisurely down the hall from her room back to his once more, musing on the hour that had just passed in her room.
Heâd always found the second Archeron sister to be the most interesting female heâd ever met.
Clever, strong, funny. Beautiful, absolutely, in her own way. She was interesting to look atâthat counted far more than conventionally beautiful.
The kind of person you donât let get away.
Heâd have to play this carefully. Had he had thoughts these past two-three years about the fact that they were both the remaining unmated ones of their respective sibling units? Yes. But he knew that even as it drew the two of them together in a careful dance around the line, it could also end very poorly if that was the only assumed reason that he wanted her.
Which it wasnât.
Sometimes he curses that of his brothers, he hadnât met her first. He could have, should have wooed her. Then, at least he could be enjoying the same felicity his damned brothers were currently enjoying with two of her sisters.
But sheâs proving to be a tough one to crack.
It was no matter, he decides. He hadnât failed to notice at least some attraction on her part. But she brushes off most things with a clever joke, much to his frustration.
Tonight had been a step forward. Even as it had killed him to see her in such a state, he thanked every bit of fate that led him to her room as she had been breaking.
So he could be the one to hold her, put her pieces back together.
He could have held her in his arms, in his lap until the day he died.
But he knew getting her to come back out, to grin and tease him again was more important than his selfish desires. And gods, what a sight she was when she did.
It was no matter, he thinks to himself again. Heâd be patient. Heâd be the person sheâd lean on until he could make her want him. Maybe sheâd allow him to touch her in the way he envisioned in his most needy moments in the dark of night. He enters his bedroom and sighs.
Fuck. It might be another one of those nights after all.
âąâąâą
NOTE: hey so uhhh if literally anyone cares iâll make a part 2
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But What Do I Know? | SKZ [Virgin!OT8]
Just some odd headcanons I've got regarding Virgin!SKZ. Some things I think they're into, how they behave as virgins, etc. But again, what do I know?~
Members are grouped into categories for these headcanons.
Warnings: 18+ Content; Oral sex, fingering, spitting/spit mentioned, dry grinding/humping, cum, makeouts, biting
NSFW Masterlist | SFW Masterlist
Group Number One : The 'I swear I didn't know it would happen!' Boys [The Pants Cummers]
Virgin!Minho swears on his life - to himself, of course - that he WILL NOT come in his pants the first time the two of you have a heavy makeout session - but it happens anyways. And he realizes after that, that he kind of.. likes it? He learns if he grinds on you a little he also gets the friction from his jeans and that helps him come even faster. Forget being put down because he reaches his high in just a few minutes - he's trying to makeout with you as long as possible to see how many times he can come.
Virgin!Jisung is WILDLY embarrassed when it happens, until he realizes you never noticed. Even if he'd gotten all blubbery and started to whimper in nervousness, you'd though he was just enjoying himself and whining into your mouth because he was happy. But then he excused himself to the bathroom to clean up and took nearly half an hour, his ears still beet red when he returned to you. You'd asked what happened and when he was honest, you reassured him it was fine that it happened - and that you thought it was kind of hot. Now, he lets it happen to please you because he knows you like it - which makes him love it even more.
Virgin!Jeongin isn't really sure what happened the first time. He was making out with you, you were on top of him - and then his thighs were trembling and you were sitting up in shock. As soon as he realizes he'd just nutted in his boxers, he's flushed in the neck and chest with embarrassment. How did that happen - WHY did that happen? He's all whiny and whispering about how he's so so sorry that he'd just done that with you on top of him. But when you shush him and whisper that it's okay while kissing his neck and tugging his collar down to mark him up, he'd begun to think maybe it wasn't that bad. And if you kept kissing him like that it was definitely going to happen again.
Group Number Two : The Masters with their Hands
Virgin!Chris doesn't really have full confidence in himself when he slips a hand in your panties for the first time, but he'd done as much research as he possibly could before his date with you earlier that night so he was sure he'd be fine. And his confidence only raised after you let your head tip back and moaned out his name. He'd let out a sigh as he pushed two fingers into your warmth, new to the feeling of being inside of you but enjoying it nonetheless. And your reactions, your whining of how much you loved his hands and how big his knuckles are, how good they feel on your walls - Yeah, he's a bit cocky after that and no longer worried about if he'll be able to please you.
Virgin!Hyunjin knows what he's doing in theory - not in practice. He did no research but it can't be that hard; and for him, it's not. It seems to come to him naturally (after you having to guide his thumb to where your clit actually is), with his middle and ring fingers pushing deep into your pussy until your thighs were quivering against his hips. He's a master at multitasking, able to rub your clit with his thumb and pump his fingers into you almost too quickly too well. And all while hovering above you, biting his lip and looking so good, too? Almost a bit mean of him to be this pretty and talented in bed.
Virgin!Seungmin really only is good at this because he plays games on PC. He's use to clicking the keys quickly, using multiple fingers at once - so you'd best bet he's good at fucking his fingers into you so quick it's got you nearly crying against the sheets. Also another who's good at multitasking - again, because of gaming - but it's with his other hand this time. And his mouth. He'll lean down to suck on your clit, fuck two or three fingers into you, and reach up to grope and tug at your chest with what feels like practiced (even though it's not) ease. Also mean in bed but.. in a different way. ;]
Group Number Three : The 'I can't help it' Boys [The Bed Humpers]
Virgin!Changbin swears that he didn't even realize he was grinding against the mattress while making out with you until he was making a mess on the sheets. Usually it's you he teases about your orgasm hitting early or the way your legs tremble in need when he sucks on your chest during heavier makeout sessions. But this time? This time it was him being teased, plump cheeks rosy pink and eyes darting over the sheets where pre had leaked from his tip and smeared on the mint of your bed. He's pouty, swearing up and down he didn't realize he had done that, before being welcomed back into your waiting arms with a shy smile. He waits until he has your reassurance that it's okay and it's nothing to be embarrassed about before he lets it happen again - and even blushes and gets shy when you ask him a few weeks later why he isn't humping the blankets while he sucks on your neck and chest. You think it's cute - and he's happy to please.
Virgin!Felix is.. kind of shameless about it. He's happy to let you know he's into you by touching and kissing and whatever - but he's a little too shy, and inexperienced, to even think about grinding on you. Your hips? His hips? Not connecting just yet. He's waaaay too shy to do anything like that. But he does want the friction, does crave the touch and grind of it all, so he'll go for the next best thing - laying between your legs while he kisses you all nice and slow in the early morning and rolling his hips down against the mattress. The feeling of his pajama pants rubbing on his cock is perfect, and the stiffness of the mattress... It's enough to satisfy him without getting too touchy with you just yet. And you seem to find it cute, too, that he humps the mattress all shy and sweet. If he notices you looking or watching he'll probably stop but any other time he's happy to keep going. Though there have been a few times he's gotten closer and humped your thigh instead. Not that you were complaining.
Group Number Four : The '*moans while neck deep in pussy*' Boys [The Messy Eaters]
Virgin!Hyunjin looooooves eating pussy. It's his favorite past time actually. Not busy? He's on his knees between your legs while you watch a show. Getting ready for sexy time? He's on his knees at the end of the bed waiting. Getting home from work? He's kissing you in the doorway and pinning you there so he can go down on you right away and relieve any stress. Honestly just a househusband with a nasty mouth who CANNOT keep his spit in it. It's like he's feral, almost. The type of guy who growls when you try to pull away or who bites at your thighs, nipping at your clit when you squirm too much. Again, so inexperienced that he's honestly not super great at eating you out - but does his best and is more than enough to please, at the cost of spit dripping down his chin and your thighs.
Virgin!Jisung. I've said it before, I'm saying it again!! Jisung likes to eat you out but really only when it's something casual and lazy. At first he was SO nervous because he was afraid he'd mess up or be bad at it - but then he realized, you're.. pretty chill about it all. You'll be on your phone and he'll be between your legs, sucking on your clit and dragging his tongue through your folds like you're the sweetest ice cream he's ever tasted. He's sweet when he eats you out and he's really careful about it, but he's.. drooling everywhere. Maybe even builds up the courage to spit on it if he thinks you're not paying attention, only to apologize and giggle when you flinch in surprise.
If y'all want a part two let me know - I have like 4-5 other groups already written in my notes lol.
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#skz imagine#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz smut#stray kids smut#bangchan x reader#felix x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#seungmin x reader#IN x reader#han x reader#lee know x reader#skz scenario#skz headcanons#stray kids headcanons#bbokicidal
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âŻARTSY HANDS AND MINDS ( how would the batboys react to you making your own merch of their alter ego ! )
â gn!reader, bruce & dick & jason â separated, fluff, established relationship, not edited, cursing, bases on this req.
© ahqkas â all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified
. . . BRUCE WAYNE !
WHEN BRUCE UNLOCKED AND PUSHED the front door of your apartment open, the familiar scent of one of your candles immediately greeted him with warmth and the familiarity of home. he was finally home, with you. it had been a long night, after all, a long night of patrols and late emergency meetings at wayne enterprises. all he wanted was a quiet evening with you, a thing that finally came to him.
the sound of soft humming came from somewhere in the apartment, probably from your living room, much to bruceâs detective skills. he couldnât help but let a gentle smile grace his face upon the sound as he hung his coat. you always seemed to brighten even the darkest of his days.
but as he rounded the corner to the living space, his smile froze.
there you were, the love of his life, sitting cross-legged on the old, beaten couch ( which bruce insisted on replacing but you didnât let that happen, something about an emotional bond ) with a black hoodie spread across your lap. a large symbol graced its chest area. the bat-symbol, he realized. smalls jars of fabric paint surrounded your sitting form, and you were holding a delicate brush, adding details to your own craftwork.
bruce was caught of guard.
âbruce!â you gasped his name out when he came into the clear sight, startled. you even nearly dipped the brush in the wrong direction which would mess up with the project you were currently working on. a flush of warmth creeped up your neck. âyouâre home early. i thought youâd be at the office for a while.â not that you minded.
âi finished up early,â he hummed and gestured towards the hoodie in your lap. the sight of the symbol, his symbol, stirred something deep within him. âwhatâs that?â
âoh, this?â your hands awkwardly hovered over the clothing. âitâs nothing, really. just a little project iâm working on.â
your man raised one eyebrow at your dismissal. âthatâs quite detailed for ânothingâ, sweetheart.â
you gave in after a second of thinking, saying to yourself it definitely wasnât for the petname or the gentle command in his tone. âfine. you caught me. iâm making my own batman hoodie. but before you say anything, let me explain.â
âiâm listening.â
âwell, iâve been a fan of batman for a while now,â you began, eyes watching his face for every kind of a reaction. ânot like one of those die-hard fans who camp outside at night trying to take pics of him or anything. just . . . i admire what he does for gotham. heâs a symbol of hope, you know. itâs nice to have someone who actually fights for the city.â
bruce felt a lump form in the back of his throat. you admired both bruce wayne, the gothamâs billionaire darling, and batman, a side of him that came out when the sun went down.
âand,â you continued, âi wanted a hoodie with the bat-symbol because it looks cool, but the official ones are ugly. theyâre all this stiff fabric that itches with weirdly placed logos. i wanted something more casual. so, i thought, why not just make one myself?â
his heart skipped a beat once you finished your mini rant, the muscle tightening against the bones of his ribs. you had no idea you were speaking to batman himself, yet your admiration was pure and genuine. it reminded him why he wore the cowl in the first place â to protect people like you, who believed in a better gotham.
âwell,â he said after a moment of just looking at you with that special look in the depths of his gaze. âif batman knew how much effort you put into this, heâd flattered.â
âyou think so?â
âi know so.â
. . . DICK GRAYSON !
THE LINGERING ACHE IN HIS MUSCLES FROM THE ROOFTOP CHASE he had barely managed to win stained his sore body as he returned from a long night of patrol back home to you. his footsteps were silent, practiced from the countless times heâs done this, when he unlocked the front door to the apartment he shared with you. the lights were still on, spilling the warm light from the living room into the hall.
dick smiled to himself. you always waited up for him, no matter how late he came home from âworkâ, and it never failed to warm his heart.
to find someone who would do such thing as cut their sleep schedule for him was basically rare, but he managed to.
you were sitting cross-legged on the beloved couch dick himself chose, completely absorbed in your task. the couch has lived its fair share already, but it was well loved and had so many good memories, so you kept it. your boyfriend watched from the doorway as your brows created that adorable little v between them, furrowing in concentration. meanwhile, your hands worked carefully with blue and black yarn. your fingers clutched the unmistakable nightwing plush; complete with the signature blue symbol across its little chest.
you donât actually know about nightwing. well, you know about his existence, about how the vigilante keeps blĂŒdhavenâs streets safe from criminal activities, and you knew about the package beneath the tight spandex of his suit. what you didnât know was nightwingâs true identity. you didnât know how he always made sure to come back home to you, and you totally didnât know that ass belonged to you.
âuhh . . .â he was caught of guard for a second here. âwhat are you doing?â
jumping slightly at the sound of his voice, you clutched the half-finished plush close to your chest as if protecting it from his praying eyes. âdick!â your face flushed with embarrassment. âyouâre home early.â
he arched an eyebrow at your behavior, his gaze averting towards the digital clock of the tv before it shifted back to you. âitâs almost two in the morning. sooo . . . are you going to explain why youâre making a mini nightwing doll this late at night?â
âfirst of all, itâs not a doll. itâs a plushie.â
âof course, my bad. plushie.â
âand second,â you started to defend your actions more confidently when you noticed the slightest of smirk gracing his face. he looked tired, the strands of his bangs slightly damp with sweat and his eyes nearly dropping down with how the exhaustion pressed on him. yet he still managed to be all cheeky. âitâs not like iâm obsessed or something. i just â the fan-made ones were too expensive, and honestly none of them were cute enough, so i decided to make my own.â
dick stepped closer to your sitting form, fidgeting with his hands to hide his racing heart. âyouâre a nightwing fan?â
you shrugged and started picking at a stray thread on the plushie. âi mean, yeah. who isnât? heâs cool, and heâs probably the least terrifying out of all the vigilantes in both gotham and blĂŒdhaven. plus,â you paused in the little rant heâd coaxed out of you. âi think heâs kinda hot.â
a loud cough interrupted you the moment those last words slipped past your lips. dickâs ears took on a pink hint, along with a more pronounced smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. the tired look in his eyes was suddenly long gone, too. âyouâre a think heâs hot, baby?â
âyeah. itâs not like heâll know i said that, though.â
oh, you had no idea.
âitâs not perfect,â you shaked the plush in your hands to make a point, âbut i wanted it to look right. and i know itâs probably silly, but it makes me feel safe, in a weird way. like, if i ever needed help, heâd show up, you know?â
dick wanted to tell you the truth then and there â that nightwing would show up for you, every single time, because you were his main priority. nothing else mattered but your safety. but he couldnât. not yet.
his fingers brushed yours instead, tracing the fabric of the yarn with a gentle touch. âi think itâs perfect. and if nightwing ever saw it, iâm sure he would be flattered.â
âyeah, right,â you laughed, actually laughed, and rolled your eyes in that way he adored. âlike heâd care about some random plushie.â
he didnât argue, though a part of him was already planning on leaving a little thank you! note the next time he patrolled near your apartment. for now, he could settle for leaning against your side and pressing a chaste kiss to your temple.
. . . JASON TODD !
JASON HAD BEEN IN A RUSH TO GET HOME. the heels of his boots crunched on the gravel beneath him before he shrugged his leather jacket and unlocked the front door to your apartment. tonightâs patrol had been rough â more bullets than heâd planned for and a few bruises he would have to hide later. all he wanted now was to crash on the couch with you, maybe with a shitty movie and some pizza if you hadnât eaten yet.
he took a step inside, already feeling the tension and ache erasing from his muscles as the familiar warmth of the living space wrapped around him like a blanket. he was finally home.
but when he crossed the threshold into the living room, jason froze right on the spot.
there you were, curled up on the couch, wearing a black hoodie that looked far too big on your frame with a hand-painted crimson symbol on the chest. not just any symbol though â it was his symbol. the red hood insignia stood out vividly against the dark fabric of the hoodie. he couldnât miss it even if he was blind.
and that wasnât all. on the coffee table in front of you was a small knitted plushie. its tiny body was simple, but the details were on spot: a small red helmet and a matching chest symbol that mirrored the one on your own chest.
you werenât supposed to know about red hood. to certain amount of course. jason couldnât shield you from the outside no matter how much he would like to, but he could shield you from one of his many personalities â the red hood. you werenât supposed to know about him being red hood. so, he hoped it was still the truth.
âhey, youâre home!â you mustâve heard him come in because you looked up at him with that sheepish smile he grew to cherish, all while holding up the plush up for inspection.
âyeah . . .â he trained off, scratching the nape of his neck. jason didnât like lying to you any more than he had to, so making up some shitty excuse about where he was and what was he doing was pretty much pointless. instead, he turned the attention to the creations of your work. the hoodie and plushie. âwhatâsâuhâwhatâs this?â
you glanced down at yourself like youâd forgotten what you were wearing. âoh, itâs a red hood merch. well, kind of,â brushing a stray hair off the hoodie, you smiled up at him more confidently. âi made these.â
jasonâs brows shot up. âyou made them?â
âyeah! the official looked uglyâlike who designed that stuff? and the fan-made ones were either way too expensive or just not what i was looking for. so, i figured, why not do it myself? and heâs kind of my favorite vigilante.â
he felt his heart skip a beat. your favorite?
what the fuck. âred hood is your favorite.â
it definitely didnât sound like a question, it was spoken in way it sounded like a statement, but you answered him with a reason anyway. âmhm. heâs a badass. a little scary, sure, but in a good way. like, you know heâs got a soft spot somewhere under all the armor. i caught him feeding the stray cat on our fire escape the other day. it was cute.â
well, he wasnât exactly careful with the cat, but he didnât expect the meowing and hissing would catch your attention. stubborn stray.
jason blinked, more caught of guard than feeling the edge of panic. he should panic, you were practically close to discovering your careless boyfriend was red hood. he was at a loss of words. âcuteâ wasnât exactly how heâd describe himself â or his alter ego â but he wasnât about to argue with you. instead, his fingers moved to trace the oversized sleeves of your hoodie, calloused fingertips brushing under the fabric to intertwine your fingers in one.
you didnât know the truth, and maybe you never would, but as long as you felt safe and protected in his arms, he was okay with it. you were holding a piece of him heâd never given to you, and yet you loved him the same.
#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne fic#bruce wayne fluff#batman x you#batman x reader#batman fic#batman fluff#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fic#dick grayson fluff#nightwing x you#nightwing x reader#nightwing fic#nightwing fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd fic#jason todd fluff#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red hood fic#red hood fluff#dcu x reader#dc x reader#x reader#reader insert#dc comics x reader#dc comics
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VIOLATE
pairing: salesman x fem reader.
warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT | RAPE/NONCON. daddy issues. age gap. reader had an abusive dad. physical abuse. degradation. forced blowjob. hitting, slapping, you know the drill. sub!reader. dom!salesman. blood. plot with porn. dont like? dont read. its that easy.
summary: you steal from the wrong man and face the consequences.
continuation to THIEF
most girls have some sort of fantasy in their head when it comes to their virginity. a blueprint of sortsâ about what kind of man they'd like to lose it to, of how gentle he'd be with them. whether it would be planned and patient or spontaneous after a magical date.
you were one of those girls. so far, you'd managed to stay away from men, not just because none of them fit the standard you created in your headâ but also because the idea of being with a man repulsed you. the first man in your lifeâ your father, had broken your heart. so you protected yourself, put a lock on engaging in sexual desires for that special someone you could wholeheartedly give yourself to. you were scared that most men you encounter would be like your fatherâ cold. violent. now, you understand that you were wrong.
the man in front of you was so much worse.
you dont get to wallow in your self pity for long. he hovers over you like a godâ his presence alone was suffocating. the fact that his massive hand is currently tugging your head back doesn't help; your scalp stings and fresh tears well in the corner of your eyes. the sight makes him groan. his free hand holds onto his cockâ gently stroking back and forth. it's a little darker than the rest of himâ tip flushed and some precum gleaming on the top. it's clear all this fighting has been foreplay for him. he's getting off to your misery. his dark eyes flicker over your face, and as you try to pull your head back again, he forces the tip against your mouth; letting the stickiness spread over your lips.
"open up." his voice is breathy, hand tugging your hair back again. you wince. "don't make me ask again."
you shake your head, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as you glare at him with all the resentment your eyes can muster. your teeth grit together as you clamp your mouth shut. he pauses and settles you with a bored gaze, and before you can realize what's happening, his hand is pulling back and slapping you across the face again.
you fall sideways onto the couch with another sob. you can taste the blood in your mouth, and you cough. he's quick to yank you back up, chuckling slightly when the blood sputters out of your mouth and down your chin. he smears his cock against the dark fluid, before settling you with another warning glare.
"did you act this stubborn with your father too?" he pouts, voice taunting, "no wonder he hit you. you never seem to listen on the first try."
you feel livid, shaking with rage as he mocks you. you open your mouth to answer him, and he takes that opportunity to pry your jaw open with his thumb. he groans as he forces his cock past your mouth, slowly at first before pushing to the hilt, till your nose presses against the light patch of hair at the base. you barely get the time to protest before he's rolling his hips slightly, getting used to the wet cavern of your mouth. the thickness and the intrusion in your throat makes you choke and sputter incoherently around his cock, eyes watering again. your hands hold onto his thighs for support. maybe you can bite his dick right off, maybeâ
"and if you bite me," he warns with a little chuckle, as if he read your mind, "i will slit your throat open and fuck it."
you shudder. you know he means it tooâ you can see the crazed look in his eyes as he cups your head with both hands. you don't want to take any chances. you can barely think when he pulls his hips back and thrusts again, eliciting a choked gargle out of you.
"fuckâ" he grunts lowly, using your head as leverage as his thrusts slowly grow faster. your body trembles violently, the lack of oxygen making your head feel faint. "that's itâ stay like that."
it's as if he's releasing all his pent up frustration on your little throatâ his head thrown back, adams apple bobbing up and down as his thrusts get harder, faster. your choking seems to only spur him on, his hold on you getting tighter as you squirm on the couch, trying to pull back. he's not having it.
he pulls out momentarily and you get only a few seconds to breathe before he's grabbing you by the ear and dragging you off the couch. you shriek throatily and claw at his hand as he pulls you towards the wall and cages you in. your head presses against the concrete as he enters your mouth again, "stop thatâ" he grunts at your wiggling, pulling your head back and slamming it against the wall. you choke on a sob, feeling lightheaded. "the fasterâ ahâ you make me cum the easier i'll make this for you."
his thrusts are like himâ to the point, aggressive and inconsiderate. his hips snap forward almost violently as you claw at his thighs, leaving a few scratches. it makes him moan. your bloodshot eyes glare up at him as you choke around his length, his balls sloppily slapping against your chin. he doesn't make a lot of noise, but when he does it comes from the back of his throat. your head repeatedly slams against the wall as he fucks your face, and between his grunts he lets out another breathless chuckle.
laughing at your suffering.
"i'm getting close," his hand comes up and he pinches your nose between two fingers. you begin to writhe at the sudden cutoff of oxygen, eyes widening, "ah ah- take it like a good slut."
your vision gets blurry, head pounding and throat gurgling as he throws his head back and cums with a loud moan. you're sure you can feel it fill your stomach. it's bitter and you can feel the stickiness of it on the roof of your mouth, on the back of your tongue. his thrusts falter, hips stuttering as his chest heaves, few strands of his well kept hair falling across his forehead. you choke and cough as he pulls out, and stuffs his softening cock back inside his pants like he didn't just violate you.
you gag slightly as you taste the saltiness of his cum mixed with the metallic taste of your blood, and you cough some of it out. you greedily take in as much air as you can, eyes wide and face heated. he tosses you around like a ragdoll. your body is limp as you slump against the wall, shuddering. his foot raises, the tip of his shiny dress shoes pressing against your clothed crotch. his voice is thoughtful, contemplative. like he's talking about the weather. "should i pop your cherry?"
you look up at him, shocked. you can barely see him through your tears. "what?"
with a smirk, he grabs your arm and yanks you forward till your face crashes into his thigh. in your panic stricken haze, you grab onto his leg, clinging to him, desperate for any ounce of sympathy or comfort he can provide.
he has nothing to offer.
his hand comes down to run through your hair, like you're a dog. you lean into the touch, hope that you being responsive would sway any thoughts of him violating you further. he grabs your jaw, making your cheeks squish in his hold. he thinks you look utterly adorable this way. you whimper.
"please don't."
you break down into sobs again. you hate crying. you hate it more so because it makes you appear weak in front of the other person. they never seem to understand that you're crying out of rage, not sadness.
he sighs before shoving you off him. you slouch on the floor and he kneels before you, face indifferent. he gently brushes your hair away from your face, and you slap his hand away.
he's toying with you. playing with your fear. manipulating your emotions as he deems fit and he's revelling in it.
"youâ" you pant, choking on another sob, before a crazed chuckle leaves you. full of disbelief, anger, hurt. "you sick fuckâ"
"let's not use crude language." he remarks dryly, eyes crinkling as he puts on a smile. the same smile you thought to be charming at first glance. now it just looks empty and manipulative. he pulls out a handkerchief, wipes the sweat glistening on your forehead. "someone really ought to teach you how to talk to your elders."
"you raped me," you snap back, voice cracking as you shoot daggers at him through your glare. you want to lunge at him, to pull out his eyeballs and rip him apart. he grabs your chin, stares into your eyes with an intensity that makes you cower into yourself.
"i taught you a lesson," he shoots back calmly, expression serious. as if he truly believed what he said. "i gave you a glimpse of what could happen if you kept up with your reckless behaviour. surely you don't think you can always get away with stealing from men or talking back to them?"
you snatch your face away and look at the floor again, eyes stony and vacant. you were a fool to think you were made for this life. that you could've lived without a proper roof over your head, the financial security that your abusive father could provide you. but you weren't willing to go back.
not after everything you endured to leave.
your lips wobble. you try to compose yourself, force your face to look cold as you glare at him again.
"i'll go to the police." you take another sharp breath. you try to sound brave, you really do, but the slight waiver of your voice gives you away. "i'll tell them everything. i'll post it on social media. they'll find you and you'll be in jail byâ"
you stop talking, merely staring at him as he smiles at you. it's a smile you recogniseâ one of those smiles that adults like to give to children, as if to say 'aw, you're so silly.' as if you're a naive child who is mindlessly babbling about something you don't know. as if he's the smartest person in the world. you know this smile because your father has aimed it at you multiple times.
"what are you smiling at?!" you snap, voice hoarse. he shakes his head almost fondly, his thumb caressing your bottom lipâ spreading the drying blood around your chin.
"it amuses me," he starts, snorting again, "how you still believe in humanity after what i just did to you."
you're frozen as you stare at him, breathing ragged. he stares at your lips, plays with the blood there before pulling his hand back and licking the crimson fluid off his thumb. he tilts his head to the side, eyes coldly boring into yours.
"you want to know how men really are?" he quirks an eyebrow, unimpressed, "they will find out where you live and they'll come have their own fun with you."
"some time will pass and you'll eventually start selling your body to perverted old men on the street." his voice takes that business-like tone again. he stands up, adjusts his suit jacket as he looks around the apartment. "weak little girls like you can't handle that kind of lifestyle."
he bends down and picks up his stolen wallet off the floor. he opens it, pulls out that card you saw before. the one with the weird shapes on it. he holds it out towards you, "here's an opportunity. you can call the number on this and participate in some games that will get you moneyâ" he gestures towards the cash on the floor- your prize from playing ddakji. "â or you can keep living like this and encounter more horrible men like me who won't be as gentle with you as i was."
the last line makes you snort bitterly. right. gentle. his bruises would last for days, the trauma a lifetime. if this is his idea of gentle, you would never want to know what his 'rough' entails. his eye twitches and he smiles back, before dropping the card on your lap.
you stay on the floor, frozen, the reality of what just happened to you settling in. you can keep living like thisâ pickpocketing men, making ends meet with stolen change, getting raped, and living in this clusterfuck of an apartment just to avoid your father; or you can go wherever all that money came from. his voice sounds faraway when he speaks again.
"i'm trusting you to make the right choice."
he gathers his briefcase, sends one more glance your way before exiting the apartment like he was never there in the first place.
A/N: im not very good with smut, but i tried. i really wanted to write just porn but i physically cant bring myself to do that without adding lots of plot and psychological elements and a backstory. otherwise it feels soulless to me. i hope i didnt bore you. for anyone who read this, thank you. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated. maybe i'll write about inho soon too.
tags for people who commented for a part 2: @rafesbunniebby @screaming-potato @nerdybarbariancupcake @deadddoll
#raven's work#the salesman x you#the salesman x reader#squid game x reader#gong yoo x reader#recruiter x reader#squid game smut#squid game angst#squid game season 2
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This is something you can teach and (should consider trying to) train your cat on! Cats are clever and social creatures, but they still have a different communication style from us. It takes time and practice to understand one another's vocalizations, body language, etc.
Things like our mistakes are easy for cats to understand and forgive! Us humans generally engage in so much non-verbal communication, especially when it comes to maintaining group cohesion and peace. Think about the last time you accidentally hurt your cat. You probably used your sweetest voice to apologize, maybe rushed to offer affection, checked them over for injuries... etc. All of that involved shifting things from your tone to your body language. They know you, and understand you're giving all of your human "I'm sorry! Are we okay?" cues. Cats do that, too! They understand this! So everything is (mostly) okay. They are hurt or spooked, but you guys are okay.
There's other stuff we do that makes less sense. From their perspective, we are just as bewildering to cats as cats are to us. Our non-verbal communication can seem conflicting, or we do things that doesn't seem to have an obvious reason. Scarier still, sometimes we intentionally do hurtful things, or put them in threatening situations. We understand that vaccines and medicine are lifesaving, that push on their toes and pulling their feet will unstick their claws, and going to the vet is finite. But they don't. And we are so big and they are so small. As far as they understand in the moment, their giant trusted companion just committed unforeseen betrayal on their tiny little bodies. I would feel pretty threatened, too!
So, what you can do? Teach your cat about your communication style. Really. Doesn't have to be intensive training, either. The more thoughtless you can make this for yourself, the better. Phrases/words and gestures you already use in context-specific ways are great for this. Consistency means everything with cats. For me and my cat, that meant things like "good girl" with a nod for reassurance or positive reinforcement. "No" while looking away when she does something I disapprove of. "Almost done" with a light squeeze to express her complaints are heard, but this shit needs to keep happening.
If nothing else, training your cat with an event completion command can do wonders. For my cat, this is just "okay!" with both palms wide-open and facing her. She knows that means the Uncomfortable, Confusing Event is over, and more will not be expected of her. Everything from regular grooming to vet visits are pretty simple with her.
She got even easier once I was able to pair this with "almost done". She knows her human is understanding her vocalizations and body languages that this sucks, but trusts this isn't forever, and I will tell her when the terrible thing is done. Once she gets the "okay!" signal, she is once again a calm (if grumpy) cat. No defensive behavior, no hiding. She is hurt or spooked, but us two are okay.
TL,DR -- Cats are funky little creatures that consider us funky big creatures. Taking a little time to not just understand them, but helping them understand you can make cat ownership much easier for all parties. :)
cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them
cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.
cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,
#idk if this will even be of interest to anybody. i just feel very passionately about cat training.#open mic night#meowsies#cats#training#pets
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look after you
an: this my first x reader fic LMAOO, i needed to write smth and this spencer was on my brain :// i am in the middle of a rly long donna fic but i cba this was much easier. also i absolutley have not proof read this sorry
synopsis: you get hurt while hunting down an unsub, after some reluctance (and kind words from papa rossi) you let spencer take care of you, 1.7k words
cw: descriptions of violence, panic attack, spencer swears and can drive (the most un-canon thing abt him) umm italians..., the rest is just fluffy, hurt/comfort, x reader but no y/n
masterlist
The unsub had his gun pointed at you, the cold press of the barrel against flesh. He was ranting and raving about needing to be seen and understood, having spent his childhood in emotional neglect. Teachers and parents failed him at every turn, itâs not his fault that this happened but he can fix it if he just drops the gun. Rossi tried to tell him this over and over, but he only got more angry, pushing the gun in harder and harder.Â
If you were to open your eyes, you wouldâve seen JJ and Luke there too, guns trained on the unsub. Their eyes glancing between you, the unsub, and the gun. But you didnât. Not until the bang went off and you could breathe again.Â
The flashing lights of the ambulance do nothing to dissuade the pressing headache you feel coming on, the movement of people helps even less. You watch as the EMTâs cart the unsub away on a gurney, sheet covering him.Â
âYou okay, kid?â Rossi asks from beside you, he had been hovering ever since the ambulance arrived.Â
âIâm fine, just need a good night's rest. Iâll be good as new.â You hummed half-heartedly.Â
David Rossi always knew when someone was lying to him, part of that talent comes from his job as a profiler, but itâs mostly because of some ancient Italian magic. âIâm gonna pretend you didnât say that to me. Look, Hotch is on his way with Reid and Emily. Theyâre gonna be taking some witness statements, but I imagine Boy Wonder will be a little distracted. I want you to let him take care of you, ok? Youâve been through hell tonight kid, let him worry.â
Italians never lie, although you wish they did. Spencer had very obviously caught feelings for you, everyone on the team could see it. Unfortunately, so could you. Spencer Reid was one of the kindest, most genuine people you had ever met, always putting other people's needs before his own. A voice in your head kept telling you that there is nothing you have done to deserve someone like him doting all over you? You had only brought trouble to the people who loved you. Eventually you learned that it was better to just keep everyone at a distance; if you donât let them in, they canât get hurt. Which worked well, up until Spencer.
He had such a wormy way of getting into your brain at the worst times; whether it was when you were alone in your kitchen, or at slightly dangerous, very inappropriate times on a case. You couldnât stop thinking about him and his stupidly cute (and sometimes ill-timed) facts. Some part of you wanted to let him in, in the end the stubborn side always took over.Â
Before long, you heard the worried cries of Spencer trying to find you in the chaos. Rossi called his name and gave you a pat on the shoulder, âRemember, you deserve to be looked after too.â and left to find Hotch.
âOh my god, are you okay? We tried to get here as soon as we could, but they managed to take down the unsub right? What happened, did he hurt you? How did you get so close? Talk to me are-â Oh, how he rambles.Â
âSpencer, Iâm fine. I just need to⊠rest, you know. He didnât hurt me that bad, just a sprained wrist, couple bruises. Couldâve been worse.â
He spluttered, âCouldâve- you know, that doesnât make this any better, I was so worried about you. He had a fucking gun to your head, I was going insane thinking about what couldâve happened. What did the EMT say about your wrist?â
âJust to rest it, and use an ice pack if it starts to swell or hurt.â You couldnât look him in the eye, he was so worried about you. It made butterflies dance in your belly, but there was a twinge of guilt there too. He was so busy, he worked so hard and then went home to look after his mom. He had too much on his plate, how could you add more to it? âSpence, Iâm really sorry about worrying you. I should be fine to leave now, so Iâll just head home and sleep it off. Have a good night.â You pushed yourself off the ambulance, eyes focused downwards, restless fingers fidgeting with the already frayed bandage.
âNo- wait what are you talking about? Youâre gonna drive yourself home in this condition? I canât let you do that, even thinking about it makes me feel sick.â He lowered his head to yours and spoke softer this time, âPlease let me take you home. I donât have to stay, I just want to make sure youâre ok, ok?â
Fuck that voice did things to you. Leaning from side to side, you thought about what Rossi had said earlier. Maybe, it was ok to let someone in? It would be cruel to let him suffer more, not knowing if you were ok or somehow got in a car crash with 5 other vehicles on your way home. Just this once, you think.
Looking up into his soft eyes, you give a small nod. His lips immediately turned up into a smile, his hand comes up to cup your head, fingers stroking your cheek. It felt⊠nice. His thumb was calloused but he still moisturised enough for it to feel smooth, and he smelled like lemongrass and ginger. His hand fell to the small of your back as he guided you to his car. Ever the gentlemen, he opened your door and softly placed his hand over your head as you got in. Manoeuvring himself into the driver's side, he pulled out his phone and typed something, then quickly stuffed it away into a pocket and turned on the engine.
The sky was dark when you woke up. The unsub had a gun to your head at dusk, and Spencer was walking into your apartment when the moon was out. He took off his shoes and the door, and walked into your living room.
âIâve never been here before,â he mused. âI like it.â
He looked at ease wandering around your apartment, his shoulders had relaxed and he let out soft musings as he perused your photo collections.
âOh Spencer, not that one, itâs embarrassing!â You tried (with not a lot of effort) to pull him away from the frame.
âNo this is cute, was this when you were at University?â He asked, wrapping an arm around you.
Oh my god. âYeah, um- those were some of my friends at the time. I try and keep in touch but, you know.â
He hummed, pulling you closer into him. Finally content, he looked down at you. âHowâs your wrist?â
âItâs ok,â you shrugged, âjust a little tender now.â
âWhereâs your kitchen, I can get some ice.â
âSpence-â you wanted to tell him no, to go home and look after himself. But his body was so warm, having him so close to you melted your brain, leaving you unable to think of any good reason as to why he should leave. âItâs the first door on the right.â
His grip tightened for a moment before he swiftly navigated you to the sofa, and turned to leave for the kitchen. The cold of the apartment rushed to get you as soon as he unraveled his arms. You hadnât been alone all day since the unsubs attack, it somehow felt more claustrophobic. His hand on your throat, squeezing the air from your lungs. The way he grabbed your arm, contorting it so he could throw you to the ground. The gun, pressed into your forehead. The knowledge that the only thing between you being alive, and you being in a ditch, was a madman's finger on the trigger. Reality faded as each memory pressed further and further into your mind. You werenât in your apartment anymore, you could feel the cold concrete beneath your hands. The thick air in your lungs, Rossi and the unsub shouting.
A hand on your knee, a soft voice bringing you back. There was no unsub, no gun to your head. You were alive. You were alive and Spencer was in your apartment, wiping the tears that had fallen down your face.
âYou with me?â His voice was so soft, you couldnât recall ever hearing Spencer raise his voice in anger. He was so gentle when he touched you.Â
The floodgates burst, choked sobs made their way past your lips. Your shoulder shook as you cried, pressing yourself into Spencerâs arms. âOh honey,â He murmured, pressing his lips into your head, softly rocking you back and forth as you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was too much. You could have died today. Very nearly did. You werenât ready to die, not yet at least.
As your cries softened into hiccups, you pushed yourself back from Spencer. âIâm sorry, that was so disgusting. It just all- I donât know.â
 âHey, you donât ever have to apologise to me ok? What you went through was really scary, Iâd honestly be more shocked if you didnât cry.â His hand moved to draw soothing shapes along your back as you leaned back into him. âYou want to watch something to calm down? I brought you some water and an ice pack for your wrist.â
He would be the death of you. You nod and push yourself back into the sofa, moving your wrist to rest in your lap. Spencer gently places the ice pack across your wrist and grips the tips of your fingers. He leans forward to push your cup of water towards you and grabs the TV remote, then turns and leans back so your side is pressed into his front. Truthfully, Spencer didnât seem like the type to watch cable TV but he navigated the menu with somewhat ease.Â
âLook at whatâs on! Itâs your favourite isnât it, you want me to put it on.â He said as he nudged your shoulder.
He remembered your favourite film, of course he would remember it he has an eidetic memory. You hummed a yes as you relaxed your body further into his, finally content. Maybe Rossi was right, having Spencer close really wasnât so bad after all.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid one shot#fluff#hurt/comfort
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can you do the puppy interview with drew starkey x actress reader plss
đ©đźđ©đ©đČ đąđ§đđđ«đŻđąđđ°
pairing: drew starkey x actress!reader ft rustyn starkey
summary: you and drew, and your son rustyn participate in a puppy interview, creating heartwarming chaos on set.
warning(s): english is not my native language. none, fluff and family fun.
au: like, reblog and feedback are much appreciated. discussion can be send through my ask box, please feel free to send in anything. âïž taglist | tagging: @rubixgsworld @rafeyslamb @bisexualcvnt @tracymbcm @maybankslover @anamiad00msday @stuffyownswrld @httpsdrewstarkey @mileyraes @enjoymyloves @akobx @noobmazter69 @victwrvale @xoxohoneymoongirl @xoxosblogsblog @wearemadeofstardust0 @saviorcomplexrry @percysley @littlelamy @winniemoe @emberaurora @watercolorskyy @kravitzwhore
âHello, this is Y/N.â
You start with a smile at the camera.
âIâm Drew Starkey,â
Drew adds, a soft chuckle escaping his lips as a playful corgi tugs at his shoelace.
âAnd Iâm Rustyn Starkey!â
Rustyn proudly chimes in, his little voice filling the room.
The way he says it, with a mixture of excitement and confidence, makes the crew chuckle.
âAnd weâre here forâŠâ
âA puppy interview!â you and Drew announce together while Rustyn claps his hands, his energy infectious.
Rustyn immediately gets distracted by a wiggly golden retriever puppy climbing into his lap.
âHi, puppy!â he says, giggling as the pup licks his cheek.
Drew picks up the first card, holding it in front of him dramatically.
âAlright, first question⊠Who is the biggest dog lover? Drew or Y/N?â
He pauses for a second before answering with a grin.
âIâll say both because we all love puppies!â
You nod, laughing as a dachshund pup curls up by your side.
âOkay, fair answer. But Rustyn might be the biggest dog lover here.â
Rustyn looks up from petting his puppy.
âI love them sooooo much!â he declares, making everyone on set melt.
The next card is passed to you, and you read aloud,
âWhat would you name this puppy if you could take it home?â
You hold up a fluffy Bernese mountain dog sitting near Rustyn.
âThis one feels like a Charlie to me, big and sweet.â
Rustyn thinks for a moment before pointing to the golden retriever still snuggled in his lap.
âIâd name mine Buddy, âcause heâs my buddy now!â
Drew laughs, ruffling Rustynâs hair.
âBuddyâs a solid name. Iâd name this little guy Rufus,â he says, gesturing to a dachshund sniffing around his lap.
âHe looks like heâs up to something.â
âDada, can we take them all home?â Rustyn asks, his big eyes looking up at Drew.
You and Drew exchange a knowing glance, both trying not to laugh.
âWeâll see, buddy,â Drew says, grinning.
âBut letâs finish the interview first, okay?â
The next question is read by Drew.
âWhoâs more likely to sneak the puppy treats?â
âDada,â Rustyn answers immediately, giggling.
Drew raises his hands in mock surrender.
âOkay, okay, guilty. But youâd sneak them, too, wouldnât you, Rusty?â
Rustyn looks thoughtful for a moment before nodding.
âYeah, but only if the puppies are really good.â
âThatâs my boy,â Drew says, laughing as a corgi puppy climbs onto his lap.
The crew brings out more puppies, creating a delightful chaos as they run around the set. One pup grabs a squeaky toy, making Rustyn laugh so hard he falls back onto the couch.
âAlright, next question!â you say, trying to regain focus.
âWhoâs more likely to cry if the puppy gets hurt or sick?â
You, Drew, and Rustyn all point at each other simultaneously, which sends everyone into fits of laughter.
âNo way, itâs Dada,â Rustyn insists, his tiny finger pointing directly at Drew.
âYou cried when we saw the movie about the dog!â
Drew laughs, trying to defend himself.
âIt was an emotional movie! And donât act like you didnât cry too, bud.â
Rustyn shrugs, giggling. âMaybe a little.â
You laugh, shaking your head.
âLetâs just agree that weâd all be emotional wrecks if anything happened to these little guys.â
The final question comes up, and you hand the card to Drew. He reads it aloud.
âWhatâs one quality in each other that would make you amazing dog parents?â
Drew pauses, his expression softening as he looks at you.
âYouâre so patient and loving. You make everything, whether itâs taking care of Rustyn, the dogs, or me, feel effortless. And I know youâd raise the most well-behaved dogs in the world⊠somehow.â
You feel your heart swell but quickly focus on him.
âAnd youâre the most hands-on dad and partner Iâve ever seen. Youâd be out there training the dogs, playing with them, and making sure theyâre spoiled with love. Theyâd be the happiest pups ever.â
Rustyn looks between the two of you.
âAnd Iâd give them hugs and kisses every day!â
âWe know you would,â you say, pulling him close for a quick kiss on the head.
As the interview wraps up, Rustyn is lying on the floor with three puppies cuddling around him, his giggles filling the set. You and Drew watch, smiling at each other.
âMommy, Dada can we take Buddy home, please?â Rustyn pleads, his eyes shining with hope.
Drew looks at you, raising an eyebrow.
âWhat do you think, Mama?â
You laugh, knowing the answer was already decided the moment Rustyn named the puppy.
âAlright, Buddy can come home with us.â
Rustyn cheers, throwing his arms around the golden retriever.
âThank you, thank you, thank you!â
Drew leans over to kiss your cheek, his voice low enough for only you to hear.
âYouâre the best.â
As the scene fades, Rustynâs voice rings out
âThis is the best day ever!â
#drew starkey#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey imagines#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey fanfic#drew x reader#drew starkey fluff#drew starkey one shot#drew starkey x reader#dad!drew starkey x mom!you#dad!drew starkey x mom!reader#dad!drew starkey
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they call you clingy.
ot8 x fem!reader
warning: really angsty, feeling insecure/unworthy, no happy endings. (sorry)
wc: 8708
bang chan
You and Chan had been together for a while, and things were generally great between you two. You had your own lives, your own routines, but there was always a sense of closeness between you that you both cherished. Lately, though, youâd found yourself tagging along with him more often, especially when he had dinner plans with the members.
At first, he didnât mind. In fact, he enjoyed having you around, and the other members seemed to appreciate it too. Some of their girlfriends were there as well, so it felt natural, like a group gathering. But after a while, you started coming along more frequently, not wanting to spend evenings apart. You thought it was a way to spend more time with him, but you could tell it was starting to weigh on Chan, though you werenât sure why.
Chan said nothing at first, but you could tell he became quieter and more distant throughout these dinners. He looked at his phone more frequently, and his smile seemed forced when you spoke with him or the others. Still, you tried to ignore it, telling yourself it was just your imagination. You weren't doing anything wrong by wanting to be with him, right? You had every right to join him on nights when he was with the other members. But you couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
One evening, as you all gathered for a casual dinner at a restaurant, the atmosphere was different. You were laughing, eating, and talking with some of the other girls when you realized Chan was particularly quiet. He was nibbling at his food and not really participating in the conversation. You leaned over to him, laying your hand on his arm, attempting to draw him into the moment.
"Chan, is everything okay?" You asked, your voice gentle and anxious.
He shuddered slightly at the contact and gave you a fake smile. "Yeah, everything's fine," he said, but the tiredness in his voice was clear. The others didnât seem to notice, but you did. It felt like he was pushing away from you just a little. Your stomach twisted as you tried to ignore the unease creeping in. Then, the conversation shifted. As the dinner continued, someone brought up how often you came along with Chan to these meals. You didnât think much of it at first, but you could feel his discomfort growing.
âHonestly, though,â Chan suddenly chimed in, his voice a little more sharp than usual, âitâs getting a bit much. Sheâs always tagging along. Itâs like she canât ever be away from me. It's kind of suffocating.â
The words hit you like a smack in the face. You froze, your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach. The table fell silent for a moment, the tension in the air evident. You could feel everyone's gaze on you, and your cheeks reddened with shame. You tried to shrug it off, believing it was a joke, but the expression in Chan's eyes revealed his disinterest. He was not joking. Time seemed to slow down, and you could feel the sting of his words settling deep within you. Without thinking, you excused yourself from the table and went to the restroom, your chest tight and your eyes welling with tears. You locked yourself in a stall and tried to calm your pounding heart, but the words replayed in your mind over and over again. âClingy,â âsuffocating.â You felt small, insignificant, and utterly hurt.
Meanwhile, at the table, the other members exchanged glances, seemingly uneasy about what had just happened. After a minute, Hyunjin spoke up, his tone surprisingly soft. "Chan, that wasn't cool, man. Why would you say anything like that? She isn't clinging at all. She's just trying to spend time with you."
Felix nodded in line, his tone quiet yet forceful. "Yeah, we really like having her around. She makes things more fun, you know? I don't understand why you'd say something like that.â
Chan wasn't sure how to answer. He had meant it as a joke, something to relieve the stress he'd been experiencing lately, but now that he'd heard the other responses from the others, a rush of shame swept over him. He felt he'd crossed a boundary, but it wasn't until they spoke out that he recognized how serious the situation was. "I didn't mean it like that," he whispered, but his apologies seemed hollow even for him.
His thoughts was muddled by remorse, and for the first time in a long time, he felt completely embarrassed. "I think you should go talk to her," Minho said softly. "She is probably really hurt right now. You have to make it right."
Chanâs stomach churned. He didnât want to think about how badly heâd hurt you. His usual confident self was gone, replaced by a knot of regret.
lee know
It was one of those days. The sort where everything you touched seemed to fall apart, and every corner you turned revealed another disaster ready to happen. The day began with your boss screaming at you for something you didn't even do, his anger pouring out on you as if it were your responsibility that the world was collapsing. You hardly had time to calm yourself before spilling your coffee all over your blouse at lunch. The entire day had been an upsurge of humiliating incidents, missed deadlines, and biting your tongue to resist snapping at everyone who gave you the wrong look.
You were physically and emotionally drained when you arrived home. You just wanted the day to end, to close your eyes and forget everything. However, when you walked through the door, you were welcomed by a familiar, comfortable smell.
Minho was in the kitchen, wearing an apron and humming softly to himself while making something. Your heart lifted a little because he was here, cooking for you. The simple gesture of kindness was a welcome breath of fresh air after a long day of drowning.
You stood by the door, hesitant whether to interrupt, but then he turned toward you with a gentle smile. "Hey, how was your day?"
You forced a smile, despite the weight of the day pressing on you. âIt was... fine. Iâm just glad to be home.â
He noticed the weariness in your eyes and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a gentle embrace. It was the kind of comfort you needed, even if you didnât know it until he offered it. âRelax. Iâve got dinner covered. Why donât you just sit down and take it easy?â
You nodded, thankful for his concern, but something inside you refused to just sit back and do nothing. It felt awful to be passive while he was so busy. "Let me help," you volunteered, heading near the counter, attempting to gather yourself after a stressful day. Minho gently shook his head, a teasing gleam in his eyes. "There's no need. "Please relax, okay?" You couldn't help but feel a sense of dissatisfaction. He was always so selfless and compassionate, and you didn't want to be someone who just sat by. Instead of disputing, you nodded and gave in to his desire. He was right, after all; you could use a break. âAlright. But give me something small to do.â
Minho paused for a moment to contemplate, then assigned you a tiny task. "Okay, could you please tidy up a little while I finish the soup? Just wipe down the countertops." It seemed simple enough.
You took a rag and followed his instructions while he worked on the soup. The house was peaceful, almost serene, and you hadn't felt that type of peace all day. It was good to be here with him and feel like you weren't confronting the world alone.
But in the middle of cleaning, your eyes darted to the pot of soup on the stove. It smelled incredible like something he had poured his heart into. You felt a surge of gratitude, the kind that made you want to help him, to show him how much you appreciated everything he did for you.
Without thinking, you decided to move the pot, to give him a little more space so he could focus on finishing everything. You gently lifted the heavy pot, but as you tried to shift it, your grip faltered. The edge of the pot slipped from your hand, and in an instant, it tilted, the boiling liquid splashing violently all over the kitchen floor and onto your leg.
You screamed out in shock, the searing heat of the soup burning into your skin, but the pain on your leg was nothing compared to the way everything seemed to shatter around you. The kitchen became chaos. The pot had fallen, splattered everywhere, and the delicious smell was suddenly replaced with the pungent scent of spilled soup. You tried to gather yourself, but the kitchen was now a disaster, and so were you on the verge of tears, overwhelmed, hurt, and defeated.
Minho turned when he heard the accident. His expression shifted from worry to annoyance in an instant. You looked up, and his eyes were filled with anger. The following words he said struck you harder than the burn on your leg. "Why are you always so clingy? I spent hours making that! "If you had just stayed out of the way for once, this could have been avoided!" His voice was harsh and slashed through the air like a razor. You stared at him, frozen in shock.
Was this actually happening?
His words felt like a punch to your chest. They were not what you expected, not from him, not when you were already dealing with the weight of the world. Your mind scrambled to make sense of it. How had it come to this? How had you gone from being the person he always tried to comfort to someone he now seemed to resent?
He stayed there, hands clenched at his sides. "God, I can't believe this," he said quietly, shaking his head. You always do this. You always get in the way. "Why can't you just relax and let me do it?"
You couldn't react because your heart was hammering painfully in your chest. You had spilled more than simply the soup. It was not only the mess. It was the sting of being accused of something you never wanted to do, like being too much. You did not want to be a burden for him. You never intended to make things more difficult, yet everything you did seemed to make things worse.
Minho sighed, looking at the mess with frustration. âJust⊠go to the room or something,â he snapped, turning away from you.
You stood there, unsure of what to do, feeling smaller than you ever had before. You knew he was angry, but the way he dismissed you, the way he acted like you were just an inconvenience, was something you hadnât expected from him. He wasnât usually like this. But right now, it felt like you had done something unforgivable. It felt like everything you had ever tried to do for him had been wrong, every gesture of kindness or help misplaced.
Your legs gave way, and you sank to the floor, trying to steady yourself, but your hands trembled with the weight of his words. Hot tears welled up in your eyes, and you didnât bother wiping them away. The physical pain in your leg from the burns was nothing compared to the ache in your chest. You had wanted to help, to make things better for him. But now, all you could do was try to tend to your own wounds both physical and emotional alone.
You pulled yourself up slowly, wiping away the tears you hadnât realized were falling, trying to find the strength to move. Minho was still in the kitchen, silent now, cleaning up the mess you had made, but his anger still hung in the air, thick and suffocating.
You left him there, retreating to your bedroom, feeling more isolated than you had in a long time. The night was quiet, but the silence between you and Minho felt louder than ever. And in that silence, you couldnât help but wonder how long you could keep trying to be the person he wanted you to be when everything you did seemed to push him further away.
changbin
The evening started out like any other. You and Changbin were going to go to the gym together after a long day. You were excited to spend more time with him, especially since you had been trying to join him at the gym more often recently. At first, it seemed like a fun bonding activity. You'd go to encourage him, attempt to keep up with some of the exercises, and simply enjoy being with him. Changbin had always been a bit of a lone wolf, preferring his own time to recuperate, but he'd been nice enough to let you tag along at first.
You didnât realize that things had slowly started to change. What had initially felt like an innocent way to spend more time together had started to weigh on him. Maybe it was because youâd started following him around everywhere always just a few steps behind, trying to do what he was doing, lingering around him during his sets. Maybe it was because he didnât have his usual space anymore. But whatever the reason, Changbin was beginning to feel the pressure, and he didnât know how to tell you.
You had no idea how much your presence at the gym was bothering him. He wasn't trying to hurt you or make you feel bad about wanting to spend time with him, but tonight was different. He could feel his patience fading and his irritation growing the more you wanted to incorporate yourself into his routine. It was supposed to be his time to escape. He needed the gym to be his sanctuary, a place to unwind and clear his mind. But tonight, as you followed him from machine to machine, everything came to a head.
The air in the gym seemed heavier than usual. Changbin could feel his patience fraying as you followed him for what seemed like the umpteenth time. You weren't doing anything wrong, yet he couldn't shake the overwhelming sense that you were constantly present. His gaze shifted to the clock on the wall; he'd been here for nearly an hour. And it wasn't that you were clingy in an obnoxious way; it was simply that you were always with him, which was enough to frustrate him.
He couldn't concentrate, couldn't clear his mind as he used to. You were always there, following his every move, asking questions about his setups, and attempting to get in the way of his routine. His thoughts were clouded, his mind no longer able to concentrate on the iron and his own movements. He couldnât unwind. He couldnât breathe.
When you followed him to the weights area once again, his frustration bubbled over.
âY/N, can you just stop?â he snapped, his voice harsh and sharp, completely different from the usual warmth you were used to. His words cut through the air like a slap. âCan you just let me have this one thing? The gym isnât supposed to be some place where you follow me around all the time. I need it to be my own. I need my space. Youâre always here, and itâs... itâs too much.â
You froze, a cold shiver of confusion running through your body. Your eyes flickered from his irritated face to the ground, unsure of what to say. You had always been so excited to share things with him, and this was the last place you thought something like this would happen.
âB-Bin... I didnâtâ" you started, your voice faltering, but he cut you off, his frustration spilling over.
âYouâre always clinging to me, Y/N. And at first, I thought it was cute. But now? Itâs just too much. The gym is supposed to be my alone time, somewhere I can relax, somewhere I can focus. But youâre here, and I canât even do that anymore,â he said, each word feeling like a weight crashing down on you.
Your chest tightened and you found yourself unable to breathe for a little while. It felt as if the world had stopped moving around you, and all you could hear was the flow of blood in your ears. You weren't expecting to hear those words from him. Changbin had always been supportive and loving, even if he was a little protective of his space. What about now? Now it felt like he was pushing you away. And the way he avoided your gaze while he spoke, as if he couldn't stand to witness the pain he was causing, you could feel your heart breaking piece by piece.
You bit your lip, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill, but it didnât help. The lump in your throat was too big, and the pain was too overwhelming. You werenât clingy. You just wanted to be close to him. You didnât realize that your presence, something you thought was innocent, had been smothering him. But hearing it from him so bluntly⊠it felt like a punch to the gut.
You said nothing at first. Your body was stiff, your eyes filled with unshed tears. You wanted to say something, but the words would not come out. Instead, you simply turned slowly and began to walk away. "I'll go," you said softly, your voice barely audible. Your steps were wobbly as you approached the exit. Changbin turned around, his heart sinking into his chest. It hit him, followed by the look in your eyes. Your lips quivered. He realized what he had just said. The frustration and fury had been misplaced. He didn't mean to hurt you. He wasn't trying to make you feel unwanted. But it was too late now. The damage was done.
âY/Nâwait!â he called after you, but it was no use. You didnât even turn around. You just kept walking, your back stiff, your steps hurried.
hyunjin
(a/n: you and hyunjin arenât a couple here, youâre childhood best friends)
The after-party had been buzzing with energy all night, full of celebration and the kind of chaotic, joyful atmosphere that followed every successful concert. It was supposed to be a moment of relief, a chance to let go of the weight of the stage and just relax with friends. You, however, couldnât seem to shake off the knot of tension that had been growing inside you for weeks.
It hadnât been an abrupt change, not really. Hyunjin, your best friend, had slowly started to become distant. At first, it was subtle, a shift in the way he looked at you, the way he barely seemed to notice when you were around. But now, it had become glaringly obvious, especially in moments like this, when you found yourself desperately trying to keep the connection you two had built over the years.
Youâd always been there for him, supporting him through everything the highs and the lows. But lately, whenever you tried to lean on him, he pulled away. The distance between you had begun to feel insurmountable, and tonight, surrounded by the group at the after-party, it felt like the final straw.
You felt an odd, uncomfortable pull as soon as you walked inside the party. The sight of Hyunjin laughing with the rest of the group should have made you happy, but instead it made your chest tighten with anxiety. He looked... unusual. His eyes, the way they avoided yours, made it clear that something had changed between you two. You despised the sense of being on the outside, like you didn't belong anymore.
You had tried to give him his space during the last few weeks, respecting the growing distance between you. But tonight, you were determined to be present. To pretend as if everything was still fine.
After all, you were his best friend, right?
You moved over to where he was sitting, talking with Seungmin and Jeongin. When they saw you approaching, Jeongin's face lit up with that warm, welcome smile that always put you at at ease. He gave you a warm nod and motioned for you to join them, which you immediately did, thinking that the familiarity of the situation could help the uneasiness that had begun to settle over you. But once you sat down, Hyunjin's tone changed. His eyes flicked across to you for a quick, unreadable look before returning to the others. You tried not to take it personally, but it hurt. Jeongin was chatting animatedly about something, but you couldn't pay attention. All you could think about was how Hyunjin had practically turned his back on you.
After a few moments, you couldnât hold it in anymore. You leaned closer to Hyunjin, trying to keep your tone light, as if everything were normal. âHey, Hyunjin... you good? Youâve seemed off lately.â
He looked at you, his expression suddenly sharp. âIâm fine,â he replied quickly, and there was a coldness to his voice that cut through you like ice.
You didnât know what to say. You had always been able to talk through things before, but now it seemed like he didnât even want to acknowledge you. You tried again, your voice trembling just slightly, âIâm just checking in... Iâve noticed youâve been a little distant.
Hyunjin rolled his eyes, as if he were irritated with you asking. âYouâre always around,â he said, his voice laced with annoyance. âI donât need you following me everywhere. Itâs annoying.â
The words hit you like a slap. You froze, the weight of his comment sinking deep into your chest. You had no idea where this was coming from. You had always been there for him, not because you needed to be, but because you cared about him. You wanted to be there. But now, suddenly, it felt like you were an inconvenience.
The room felt suffocating, the noise of the party growing distant as you tried to process what he had just said. You had always been careful not to smother him, always tried to give him space. But now he was telling you that your presence, your very existence, was too much for him.
It was too much.
The lump in your throat grew, but you werenât going to let him see you falter. You tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over, but you couldnât stop the rush of emotions that came flooding to the surface. You had tried so hard to be understanding, to be patient, but this was too much to handle.
Before you could say anything more, you snapped. âYou know what, Hyunjin? Iâm not following you around,â your voice trembling with a mix of hurt and frustration. âIâm only here because Felix invited me. As his date.â
The words hung in the air, sharper than you intended, but you didnât care. You could feel the sting of betrayal, the way Hyunjin had made you feel small, and the anger bubbled up inside you. The room grew quiet for a moment, everyoneâs attention now focused on the exchange.
You didnât look at Hyunjin. You couldnât. Instead, you turned on your heel, your pulse pounding in your ears, and walked straight to Felix, who was standing nearby. He gave you a surprised glance, but he didnât ask questions. He simply wrapped an arm around you as you sat next to him, offering you a comforting presence in the midst of your emotional storm.
You didn't speak for a time, your thoughts racing from the argument, but Felix didn't press you to explain. He just let you sit there in peace, his arm resting comfortably on your shoulder. You leaned into him, attempting to center yourself and escape the overpowering pain that threatened to consume you whole. Felix did not deserve to bear the burden of your wounded heart, but in that time, his comfort was the only thing that made sense.
Hyunjin's gaze stayed fixed on you as the party went on. But you refused to look his direction. He'd already made it apparent that your presence no longer mattered to him. He had driven you away with his hurtful words, and as much as it pained you to admit it, you knew deep down that it was too late to fix things.
The rest of the night was a blur. You couldnât stop thinking about what had happened, about how he had made you feel so small, so insignificant. The person who had once been your best friend, who had always been there for you, was now the one who had cast you aside. And the worst part was that you didnât even know why.
As the party wound down and everyone began to leave, you stayed close to Felix, not looking back, not wanting to face Hyunjin. You didnât know what had changed between you two, or why he had suddenly decided that your friendship wasnât worth his time. All you knew was that the person who had once been your closest confidant, the one who knew all your secrets and fears, had just torn your heart apart.
And you didnât know how to fix it.
HAN
The evening began like any other, or so it was supposed to be. But Jisung felt as if the world was pushing down on him with every step he made into the apartment. The intensity of the day still clung to him, like a physical weight of frustration, disappointment, and tiredness. He had spent hours in the meeting with the company staff, only to hear criticism for the smallest mistakes and missteps. It wasn't the first time, but it always hurt. This time, however, it seemed different; he couldn't shake the nagging sense of inadequacy.
The door clicked behind him, and the familiar aroma of home didn't bring much comfort. Instead, it was almost smothering. His limbs ached, his mind raced, and all he needed was peace, time to unwind.
But you were there.
You always were.
As soon as he walked through the door, your eyes searched his face, and he could see the concern etched over your features. He could tell you'd sensed something was wrong. He attempted to disguise it when he saw you earlier that day, brushing off your "are you okay?" with a quick "yeah, I'm fine," but now, as you stood there with that sweet look in your eyes, he couldn't help but see it. You could look right through him, like glass.
"Jisung," you said quietly, your voice carrying the gentle tone you always used when you knew he was struggling, "are you sure you're okay? You donât look okay."
It wasnât the first time youâd asked. You'd been asking since the moment he came home, like you always did when you saw him worn down, like you always did when he looked like he was holding a little too much in. But no matter how well you meant it, no matter how much you truly cared about him, he just didnât want to talk about it. Not today. Not tonight.
"Iâm fine," he muttered, his tone dismissive, but you could hear the edge in his voice.
You hesitated, eyes scanning him again, sensing the distance between his words and the tension in his body.
"Jisung⊠I know youâre not fine," you said softly, a frown pulling at your lips. You reached toward him, wanting to bridge the gap that was widening between you, but he stepped back before you could touch him.
"Iâm fine," he repeated, louder this time, irritation lacing his voice. "Just stop asking."
Your heart twisted, but you tried to swallow the hurt, not wanting to push him further. But you couldnât stop yourself from trying again, desperate to get him to open up. "Please, I can tell somethingâs wrong. If you need to talk, Iâm here."
He froze at that, hands clenched at his sides, jaw clenched. His frustration, the irritation that had been building inside him all day, finally cracked open.
"I said I'm fine!" He snapped, his voice sharp, his eyes burning with anger, not at you, but at the world that had worn him down. "Why are you always so clingy? It's annoying. I do not need you hovering over me like this. I don't need you constantly keeping tabs on me!" The words were biting and nasty. You trembled, a flood of hurt smashing over you, but you tried to stay calm.
You couldn't help but feel the sting of dismissal and the weight of his harshness. "I'm just trying to help you," you said softly, your voice quivering slightly. "I just want to make sure that you're okay. Why don't you let me help?"
He glanced at you, the spark of guilt in his eyes swiftly drowned out by the a flood of frustration within him. He opened his mouth and nothing came out. He wanted to apologize. He knew he hurt you. But the words did not come, and he had no idea how to make it right. He didn't know how to ask for what he wanted when everything inside him felt like it was about to come apart.
You did not wait for him to say anything. The anger, bewilderment, and hurt welled up in your chest, and before you could stop yourself, you turned on your heel and marched out, your footsteps loud and strong as you made your way to the bedroom.
The door slammed behind you, and for a moment, there was nothing but silence. You sank onto the bed, feeling the weight of the frustration both his and yours press down on your chest like a suffocating blanket.
You didnât want to cry. You didnât want to feel this way. You had only wanted to help him. To be there for him when he was struggling. But all he had done was push you away.
You heard no footsteps, no soft knock on the door. Normally, when something like this happened, he would come after you. He would apologize, his voice soft and regretful, and youâd make up. Heâd say something about how it wasnât you, how he was just having a hard time. But this time, the silence stretched on. The door stayed closed.
It wasnât long before you realized he wasnât coming.
The silence felt so loud, so suffocating, and it only made everything hurt more. He wasnât here to apologize. He wasnât here to soothe you like he always did.
And maybe this time it wasn't all about him. Maybe it was more than simply his tiredness and irritation. Maybe it was about something deeper, something more than just a bad day at work. Your heart broke at the thought that he might have pushed you away because he didn't know how to accept you. Maybe he'd been hiding his pain for so long because he was frightened to show you the parts of himself he thought were too shattered. Maybe he was just too stressed to recognize that you weren't a burden, but rather someone who wanted to help him shoulder the weight.
But right now, none of that mattered. What mattered was that he had called you clingy, had pushed you away when all you wanted was to hold him close.
You curled up in bed, hugging your knees to your chest, and tried not to cry.
You didnât hear him come in, but you felt the weight of the bed shift beside you. Jisungâs presence was always so familiar, so warm, but tonight it felt distant. He didnât touch you. He didnât say anything. He just sat there, in the darkness, as the minutes dragged on.
And you, as much as it hurt, didnât know if you could ask him again if he was okay. Not yet. Not until he was ready to admit that he wasnât.
felix
It had been one of those days where everything seemed strange, as if a thin film of tension had been applied to the edges of everything you did. The kind of day where even the most basic tasks felt significant, and no matter how hard you tried to make things feel normal, you couldn't escape the growing distance. Maybe you chalked it up to stress. Maybe it was just a phase. Everyone goes through a hard stretch, right? But when you woke in the middle of the night, your hand instinctively going for the warm spot beside you, only to find it empty, that emotion became too strong to ignore. Felix had always been the one to stay close, even in sleep. He was always so attentive to your needs, so present. But now, the space between you was cold, and the bed felt too large without him there.
You sat up, the quiet of the room pressing in on you, your heartbeat loud in your ears as you swung your legs off the side of the bed. The soft glow of the TV in the living room flickered across the hallway, casting long shadows.
As you made your way down the hall, you saw him there, slumped on the couch, his eyes fixed on the screen but unseeing, staring at it like it held some answer that he couldnât quite grasp. You could see the strain in his posture, the weight of something pressing on him, but he didn't acknowledge you as you approached.
You stopped a few feet away, unsure what to say. The silence between you two felt like a wall, immovable and unbreakable. This wasn't the Felix you knew, the one who would always offer a comforting smile or an encouraging word when you needed it. This version of him was remote and frigid, as if he built a fortress and did not plan to let anyone in.
"Felix," you whispered slowly, trying not to shock him, your voice trembling with emotion. "What's wrong?"
He didnât respond at first, as if he hadnât heard you, or maybe he just didnât want to answer. The minutes dragged on, each second feeling like it added more distance between you two. Finally, when he spoke, his voice was low and strained, and it hit you in a way you hadnât expected.
âNothing,â he muttered, though it was clear that wasnât true. His words didnât match the heaviness in the air, the emptiness that had settled between you two. âJust⊠leave me alone, okay?â
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Leave him alone? You didnât understand. Since when had he ever asked you for space, especially like this? Felix had always been the one to reach out, to comfort you, to be the one you could lean on when things got tough. But now, he was shutting you out, pushing you away.
You stood there, paralyzed, staring at the back of his head as the emptiness in the room seemed to swallow you whole. His posture was stiff, almost defensive, like he was trying to make himself smaller, trying to hide from you, and it hurt more than you ever expected.
"You don't have to be so clingy all the time," he said, his voice more clipped and distant than you'd ever heard. It was as if the words were spoken by someone else, a stranger in the body of the person you loved.
Clingy? The word resonated in your thoughts, sending you reeling. You'd never considered yourself clingy. Have you really gotten so annoying? Was your affection and presence too much for him? You couldn't understand it. The connection, the intimacy that had once been so natural between you two now seemed so far away, as if it were a dream you couldn't fathom.
âI justâŠâ Your voice faltered, and you took a shaky breath, willing yourself not to cry, not to show him just how much his words had wounded you. âI just wanted to know whatâs wrong. Youâre⊠youâre not like this, Felix. Not with me.â
You took a tentative step forward, hoping that your proximity would reach him, that your presence would somehow break through the wall he had built around himself. But he didnât move, didnât acknowledge you, and that hurt more than anything else. It was the silence, the refusal to face you, that felt like a betrayal.
"Please talk to me," you whispered, your heart breaking as you watched him remain motionless on the couch, his eyes still fixed on the television, as though he could pretend you werenât even there.
But Felix didnât respond. Instead, he kept his focus on the screen, the distant expression on his face more painful than any argument. You could feel the distance between you growing, spreading like a chasm, and it felt like you were standing at the edge, about to fall into the void.
It wasn't always this way, you thought, recalling times when simply being in the same room was enough to make you feel connected. It seemed as if you blinked and everything had changed. He wasn't the same Felix who would stay up with you when you were feeling sad, holding you and whispering comfort in the darkness. The man who had once looked at you with warmth and love now seemed so distant, like a stranger you didn't recognize.
Your heart ached; the anguish of losing him, feeling him slide through your fingers, was almost excruciating. You could not tolerate the deafening stillness between you any longer.
With a last, desperate glance at him, you whispered, âIâm here, Felix. Iâm always here for you. If you need space, if you need time, Iâll give it to you. But I just⊠I just need to know youâre okay.â
But he didn't respond and didn't move. His silence hurt worse than words could, and you realized, with a sickening feeling, that you had no idea where you stood in his life. The Felix you knew, the Felix who would always reach out to you, seemed like a memory you could no longer grasp onto. You turned away, your feet feeling heavy as you walked back to the bedroom, the distance between you two becoming more than just physical.
The weight of his disinterest crushed against your chest, smothering you, and you wondered whether things would ever be the same again. Will he come to you eventually? Would he tell you about what was bothering him, or had you already lost him in ways you couldnât fix?
You climbed back into bed, the sheets cold where he should have been beside you. And as the night stretched on in silence, you tried not to feel the unbearable emptiness that had settled in your heart, wondering if Felix would ever look at you the same way again.
seungmin
The front door creaked open, and you could hear Seungmin's footsteps in the hallway, dragging slightly, indicating how exhausted he must have been after a long day of practice and vocal lessons. You'd been waiting for him, possibly too eagerly, though you tried not to admit it. You had planned to talk, the conversation you'd been putting off for days because the silence had gotten unbearable. The subtle shift in his demeanor, the way he became more distant and engaged in his own world, weighed heavy on your chest.
You knew how busy he was, how much work he put into his training and craft. But it didn't take away the sting of feeling like an afterthought, as if you were no longer a part of his life. You had tried to keep it together, to give him his space when he needed it, but the continual feeling of being neglected was gradually pulling you apart. You needed him to see you. You needed him to care the way he used to, to put forth the same effort that you did.
So, as the door clicked shut and you heard him move toward the kitchen, you braced yourself and entered the hallway to greet him.
"Seungmin," you called softly, but there was no immediate response. He didnât even look up, didnât even glance in your direction.
You took a breath, trying to keep the anxiety from choking you. "Can we talk?" Your voice was steady, though you could feel the tremor beneath it. "It feels like weâre not the same anymore."
His footsteps faltered for half a second, and you thought maybe you had caught his attention. But instead of stopping, he just continued walking past you, brushing past your shoulder so closely you could feel the coldness radiating off him. He didnât even spare you a glance.
"Seungmin," you said again, but this time there was a little crack in your voice, a vulnerability you didn't want to express. You needed him to hear and see you, even if just for a moment. But he did not stop. Finally, he gave a low, exasperated groan that hung between you like a wall. He turned halfway, his eyes flickering to you with an enigmatic expression. "Why do you always make things so dramatic?" His comments were harsh, cutting through the silence and making you flinch. "You're really clingy. Just leave me alone for once."
The words were like a punch to the gut. The force of them knocked the wind out of you, and your heart seemed to stop for just a moment, trapped somewhere in the space between your chest and throat. You hadnât expected this. You hadnât expected him to say something so cold, so dismissive. All you had wanted was to talk, to bridge the distance that had formed between you, but now it felt like you were drowning in it.
Your body went still. You opened your mouth to respond, to explain how unfair that was, but no words came. How could you even argue against that? How could you explain that all you wanted was his attention, his care? You werenât clingy you were hurt.
"Seungmin, Iâm notâ" The words tumbled out weakly, but they didnât seem to matter.
"You are," he interrupted, his tone now flat, distant. "I donât have the energy for this right now."
He turned away from you, heading toward the kitchen without another glance, leaving you standing in the hallway, shattered.
You stood there for a long moment, frozen in the aftermath of his words. Everything you had been holding back, all the frustration, the confusion, the loneliness that had built up over the last few weeks, was suddenly crashing down on you like a wave. Was that it? Was that all you were to him now? Someone who was too much to deal with?
You had never felt so small. So invisible.
You had tried to keep it together. You had told yourself it wasnât a big deal, that he was just stressed, that he didnât mean it. But now, standing there in the hallway with nothing but the echo of his dismissal ringing in your ears, you realized that maybe this was the problem the distance. The lack of communication. The feeling that no matter how hard you tried, you could never reach him, never get him to understand what you needed, what you were hurting from.
You wanted to chase after him, to try again, to make him see how much his words had stung. But something inside of you had broken. There was a voice inside you now that said, "Itâs too late. Youâve tried. He doesnât want to listen." And that was more painful than anything else knowing that, deep down, he didnât even want to meet you halfway anymore.
You had hoped, and even prayed, that things would return to normal, that the love you once shared would reemerge. But standing there, you couldn't help but feel as if you were fighting a losing war. You didn't ask for much: simply his time, presence, and devotion. You never expected this level of coldness in return.
The silence in the home became intolerable, and each second felt like a weight on your chest. You wanted to yell at him and urge him to care, but all you could do was stand there, feeling the barriers between you two grow higher and higher.
You turned away slowly, your legs heavy, your head spinning with everything you had just heard. You didnât know what hurt more: his words or the fact that he had walked past you like you were nothing.
You needed him to care, but right now, it felt like the person you needed was already gone.
I.N
The evening had been everything you hoped it would be: thrilling, warm, and full of laughing. You'd been dating Jeongin for about a year, and he was finally introducing you to his members. It seemed like an important milestone in your relationship. You'd heard so much about them, and now you'd get to meet the people he cared about the most. The anticipation had you beaming all evening as you helped Jeongin in cooking dinner, your heart filled with delight at the prospect of cooking together and spending time with the people who were such an important part of his life.
The dinner had gone smoothly. The atmosphere was cozy, filled with the sound of happy chatter and the clinking of silverware. The members were friendly, teasing each other and joking around. You could see why Jeongin was so close with them they were like brothers, comfortable and at ease with each other. You had felt so welcomed by them, their laughter contagious, and the food you had helped prepare had been met with praises.
As the night wore on, everyone settled into the living room, enjoying sweet treats and wine. It was the perfect end to a perfect evening, or so you had thought.
But as the evening wore on, you noticed something that made your stomach churn. Jeongin was distant. He had been quieter than normal, with his focus wandering. Normally, he would be the first to steal a kiss from you or press his hand on yours if you were close. But tonight? Tonight, it felt as if he was purposefully keeping distance between the two of you.
You brushed it off at first, believing he was just weary or stressed after introducing you to everyone. After all, meeting his members was a major step, and maybe he was just concerned with making sure things went smoothly.
But it wasnât just that.
When you leaned in to rest your head on his shoulder, like you had done numerous times before without thinking twice, he pulled away almost immediately. The action was swift and sharp, as if you had done something wrong. You blinked in surprise, a frown tugging on your lips, but before you could ask what was wrong, he mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear, "Stop being so clingy." The words struck you like a physical punch. You froze, the warmth of your feelings for him vanished, replaced by a frigid knot of perplexity and embarrassment. Did he mean it? You could feel the weight of the members' gazes as you looked around the room, though no one said anything. But you could tell they had heard, the awkward silence that followed making it painfully clear.
You felt heat rising up your cheeks, humiliated. Had you overstepped? You had never been clingy before and had never thought of yourself in that way. But his comments, which were cutting and contemptuous, hurt more than you wanted to acknowledge. The casual tenderness you had always shared seemed like a distant memory today, a bitter reminder of how things had changed without warning.
Jeongin had always been so warm and tactile with you. Kisses on your cheek while cooking, his arm slung over your shoulder while watching TV, all the little things that made you feel safe and cherished. But tonight? Tonight he was a different person.
You tried to ignore it, thinking maybe it was a bad moment. Perhaps he was just tired, or maybe something had happened at work or with the members that was weighing on him. But as the night continued, the distance between you only seemed to grow. When you tried to brush your hand against his, he pulled it away, a small frown on his face. When you tried to rest your head on his shoulder again, he shifted uncomfortably, avoiding your touch with a small sigh.
It was as if you were a stranger to him, someone he couldnât stand to be close to.
Your heart dropped. It was a feeling you never expected to have with him, the type of coldness that made you question everything, including the entire foundation of your relationship. You had no idea what was going on in his mind, but the way he was treating you now felt so different from the Jeongin you had fell for.
You excused yourself to the restroom, needing a moment to collect your thoughts and prevent yourself from entirely disintegrating. The quiet hum of the talk in the living room followed you as you walked back, the members' voices merging into the background as your thoughts occupied you.
Was he angry with you? Had you done something wrong? Maybe he was embarrassed by you, by your clinginess. Maybe he didnât want to be seen as the guy who couldnât control his girlfriend. Maybe you were being too needy, too dependent, and he just couldnât handle it anymore. Maybe he had changed, and you were the one who had failed to notice.
You stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm the tightness in your chest. When you returned to the living room, you tried to smile, to pretend like everything was fine. But the look on Jeonginâs face when you came back made your stomach twist even further. He didnât smile at you like he usually did. He didnât reach for you. He just sat there, a distance between you that felt like an ocean.
You sat down again, feeling smaller than you had with him before. You did not want to confront him in front of the other members. Not when things were going so well. You didn't want to ruin the evening or make things uncomfortable for everyone. But the awkwardness was already there. It seemed like a thick cloud suffocating you, and you knew he felt the same way.
Eventually, the evening came to an end. The group began saying their goodbyes, laughing and conversing, although their voices were scarcely audible. You were too consumed by the subtle tension between you and Jeongin, who hadn't spoken anything to you since your previous conversation. You gently grabbed your stuff, not quite meeting his eyes.
When you reached the door, Jeongin still hadnât moved. He was standing by the couch, talking to one of the members, completely ignoring you. It wasnât how you thought it would go. This wasnât how you imagined the night would end.
It wasnât until you were halfway out the door that he finally spoke, his voice distant, flat. "You okay?" he asked, as if the tension between you hadnât been there all evening.
You stood frozen, looking back at him, your chest tight. You wanted to say so many things. You wanted to ask why he was acting this way, to demand an explanation, to tell him how hurt you were by the way he had dismissed you. But you didnât. Instead, you forced a small smile, though it didnât reach your eyes.
"Yeah," you replied softly, your voice quiet, strained. "Iâm fine."
And then you stepped out, leaving the apartment behind, the discomfort and uncertainty lingering in the air like a thick cloud. You had no idea what had happened or what had caused this abrupt change, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something in your relationship had just broken. Something that might not be fixable.
And as the door clicked shut behind you, you weren't sure if Jeongin noticed.
//
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#stray kids imagines#stray kids x you#skz imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids scenarios#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#kpop angst#stray kids angst#stray kids reactions#stray kids#skz#skz angst#skz x reader#bang chan angst#lee know angst#changbin angst#bang chan imagines#hyunjin angst#han jisung angst#lee felix angst#kim seungmin angst#i.n angst#jeongin angst#stray kids kpop#kpop fanfic#kpop#skz fanfic#stray kids pics
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Between Pregnancy and Prison
Summary: You find out youâre pregnant, unfortunately a couple of weeks after Spencer got arrested in Mexico
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Category: Angst
Warnings: Summary says it all, nothing to add
Word Count: 3k
It is late in the afternoon and gray clouds have gathered. Your apartment is quiet, aside from the soft dripping of rain and the gentle clink of a cup that JJ has just placed on the table. You sit on the old sofa, knees drawn up and hands nervously buried in your lap. You stare at the pregnancy test lying on the table in front of you.
You've been feeling exhausted for weeks, constantly tired, struggling with nausea and always having that slight pulling sensation in your abdomen. You convinced yourself it was just the stress of Spencer being wrongfully arrested. But deep down you knew something was wrong. You werenât the only one who noticed this and it didnât take long before JJ came up to you and asked you about it.
You were sitting at your desk at work, head in your hand, when you felt the familiar feeling of nausea and a dull ache in your abdomen. Again. It wasn't the first time this week that you felt this way. You had barely eaten anything, but even what little you tried to eat was hard to digest.
"Do you need a break?" JJ asked suddenly, her voice concerned. You looked up. Her eyes still sparkled, but there was something different in her gaze - something that reminded you of your condition. The last few weeks had left their mark not only on you, but also on the rest of the team.
âItâs okay,â you mumbled, trying to put on a smile. "Just this damn nausea... and this stomach ache that just won't go away." JJ looked at you intently, as if she didn't fully believe your words. She shook her head slightly.
âYouâve told me about it many times. But it really doesn't sound good when it keeps happening. And you seem pretty... exhausted too. Are you really feeling this bad just because of what happened to Spencer? Or could there be something else behind it?â
You stared at your desk for a moment, the words so clear you almost got a lump in your throat. âWhat do you mean?â you asked quietly, although you had an idea where the question was going.
JJ took a step closer, her expression becoming even more serious. "I know you're dealing with so much right now, but... have you ever thought that there might be something else behind it?"
There was a moment of silence where you felt like the air around you suddenly became even denser. You swallowed. The nausea in your stomach increased. âYou meant...maybe pregnancy?â you whispered.
JJ nodded carefully, her voice soft but firm. âYes, it could be. I know this isn't really the time to think about this, but... sometimes the body has other signals that we don't immediately understand. Maybe it would help you just get some clarity.â
You sighed deeply and rubbed your stomach with one hand. The thoughts swirled in your head. You couldn't deny it. The last few weeks had been so chaotic that you hadn't even really noticed the changes in your own body. But somehow...somehow it was true. It didn't just feel like stress. There was something else there.
âI donât know,â you mumbled, looking down at the ground. âWhat if this is all just⊠stress-related?â you asked. âThen at least youâll be safe,â JJ said calmly. âIt could also just be because you are extremely stressed and your body is reacting to it. But maybe ruling it out will help you.â
You hesitated first, then nod slowly. You knew she was right. "Okay, youâre right,â you finally said, taking a deep breath. âCan you maybe come over then? I⊠I donât know if I can do this alone.â JJ smiled as she met your eyes. She saw the pain in them.
âOf course, Iâll come over. We'll do this together, don't worry. Once you know what it is, you can finally think more clearly again.â You suddenly felt a little bit lighter. It was as if the thought of not having to go through this uncertainty alone gave you the space to breathe a little again.
âThanks, JJ,â you whispered, trying to smile. âNo problem,â she said with a smile. "You're not alone. Weâll do this together,â she said before you had to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom once again.
So now, after JJ convinced you to take a pregnany test, the two of you are sitting in your living room. âAre you ready?â JJ asks quietly. She sits in the armchair next to the sofa and eyes you with a mixture of concern and understanding. âItâs okay if youâre not ready. But remember, you need to know whatâs going on.â
You close your eyes for a moment. Your thoughts are a chaos of joy and fear, of hope and uncertainty. Yes, you and Spencer always said you wanted to have children. You talked about a life together, about marriage and children and the future. But now everything is messed up.
âI... I donât know, JJ,â you say, your voice shaking. âThereâs just so much thatâs going wrong right now. Spencer is still in prison, and what if it's months or worse - years - before he gets out? What if I burden him with this news while heâs sitting in this stupid cell?â
JJ leans forward and places a hand on your shoulder. âYou will not burden him with this news. It's a decision you have to make together. And if you're happy, then he'll be happy too. He always wanted to have children. You too. And you need to know if youâre really pregnant.â You take a deep breath. Your mind is racing.
What if Spencer really had to stay in prison that long? You don't want to put this burden on him, but you can't just move on without knowing what's really going on. And you also know that you can no longer live in uncertainty.
You feel like you're stuck, caught between the future you imagined and the frightening reality in which Spencer is still trapped. âOkay,â you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper. âI'll do it. I want to know.â
JJ nods without saying a word and stands up to pick up the test. She puts the test on the table and looks at you as if to give you time to calm down before daring to look at it. âAre you sure?â JJ asked one last time, standing next to her and looking at her sideways. You nod, your heart beating faster and the nervousness settling in your limbs.
But there's also a small, quiet joy within you - the idea that the dream you and Spencer have always wanted can finally become a reality. You grab the test and slowly turn it over. Your breath hitches as you looked at the results. Two red lines. Clearly.
âOh my godâŠâ you whisper, a smile spreading uncertainly on your lips. You couldn't help but put your hand over your mouth for a moment. It's so surreal. On the one hand, you are overjoyed. This is what you have always wanted. But at the same time, there's this huge insecurity that you can't shake. What if Spencer isn't there in time to experience it?
âItâs positive,â JJ says softly and smiles. Her voice is calm, but you can see the joy in her eyes. âYouâre going to be a mom. Youâre going to be parents.â You nod, but your eyes fill with tears immediately.
You are happy, so incredibly happy, but also so full of doubts. What should you say to Spencer? How would he react if he heard it? He needs to know, but the thought of breaking that news to him in his current situation somehow feels so... wrong.
âWhat if he canât live to see it?â you finally ask, your voice shaky. âWhat if he doesnât get out fast enough? How am I supposed to do all this alone?âJJ sits back down on the chair and takes your hand.
âYou are not alone. You have me, you have your family, you have the team. And Spencer - even though he's in prison - he's still a part of it. He will be part of this miracle. And when he comes back, heâll be happy to experience it with you,â she says. âBut⊠the timingâŠâ you start uncertainly, âwhat if it gets too much for him?â you ask.
âYes, itâs complicated. Yes, it's not the perfect time. But you know what? There will never be a perfect time. Sometimes you just have to have the courage to take the next step. And you'll see that it turns out to be the right one at some point." You lower the test slowly, but still keep your eyes on it.
The joy you feel is overwhelming - you can already imagine a life with Spencer and a baby. But at this moment uncertainty prevails. You don't know what the future will bring and it scares you. âIâll tell him right away,â you finally whisper. JJ nods and stands up to hug you.
âThat's exactly what you should do. You two will get through this together. No matter what happens.â You close your eyes and hug JJ tightly, the pregnancy test still in your hand. A new chapter has begun, and even if you don't have all the answers, you know you've taken the first step.
-
You've made the trip to prison many times, but today everything is different. The rain has evaporated to a light drizzle, covering the streets in a dull haze. You can barely concentrate, the thought of the news you're about to tell Spencer making your heart beat faster.
Part of you is nervous, the other is happy - it's news you've both always wanted for the future - but now that the moment has come, you feel strange and uncertain. What if he doesn't respond the way you hope? What if that's the last thing he wants to hear in this situation? You can understand it to a certain extent.
When you reach the prison building, you get out and walk through the gate, the sound of the massive door closing is ringing in your ears. The waiting room is the same as always - gray walls, worn chairs and the constant feeling of separation that you can never completely get rid of here. The minutes barely seemed to pass as you wait for him to come in. Your heart is pounding in your chest.
âHeâs coming soon,â the security guard says without further ado as he stares at his monitor. You nod and try to organize your thoughts. You sit down, hands nervously on your thighs, then your belly. Your gaze is focused on the window in front of you, through which you will soon see Spencer.
Your eyes are already burning from the tears you desperately have to hold back in order to appear strong. But when the door opens and you see Spencer, his familiar face behind the glass that you miss so much, it feels like your heart is being ripped out.
Spencer looks at you through the window and there is the same exhaustion in his eyes, the same weariness that is in your own eyes. But you can see much more than that - He doesn't belong here. That's the thought that haunts you every time you see him in this environment. You can't imagine what it must feel like to be trapped, innocent, in a system that seemed to be turned against you.
It breaks your heart to see him here. Your eyes fill with tears that you can't hold back, despite your best efforts. âOh, Spence,â you whisper, tears streaming down your cheeks as you gently place your hand on the glass, as if you could reach him.
He sits down on the bench on the other side of the glass, and as soon as he looks at you, he immediately notices that something is wrong. He frowns and looks at you worriedly, he also puts his hand on the window as if he wanted to touch yours, even though he knows it won't work. It hurts him to see you like this.
âHey, heyâŠâ Spencer said quietly when he noticed your tears, and his shoulders immediately tightened. "What's wrong, angel?" His voice is soft, almost fragile. âYou have to stop crying. It hurts me to see you like this. I can't reach out to you and hold you in my arms. I canât comfort you. It breaks my heart.â
You hastily wipe away your tears, trying to regain control of your emotions, but the mix of joy and pain makes it almost impossible. Your heart pounds loudly in your chest as you search for the right words. âItâs just⊠Iâm sorry. I... I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you,â you say.
You need a moment to calm down. âI come with⊠big news today.â Spencer raises an eyebrow and his gaze becomes even more attentive. âNews?â he asks, as if he wants to get every word out of you, but at the same time he also feels the burden you carry with you. It's obvious you have something more important to say.
You take a deep breath and wipe away the last of your tears, even as the emotions continue to rise within you. âI've been feeling worse for the last few weeks. I thought it was just stress after everything that happened. I somehow kept telling myself that. But JJ noticed that I had other symptoms that I just ignored. She said I should take a pregnancy test.â
Spencer stays silent, his eyes still worried, but now a hint of foreboding seems to be stirring in his eyes. âAnd what did the test show?â he asks cautiously, as if heâs not sure if he really wants to hear the answer. You can't stop yourself from smiling, even though your voice is still shaking. âItâs positive,â you say and the words themselves are creating a different reality.
The moment you said it feels surreal. It's something you've always wanted, a future you've always dreamed of. But at this moment you are not sure whether it all really fits into this world. Spencer is in prison. You are at home, alone. But you know you have to share this message with him. You are going through this together.
âYouâre going to be a dad, Spence,â you whisper, and despite the uncertainty you feel, you canât help the smile thatâs starting to form in your eyes. You stare at the glass between you, your hand still placed on it. When you look at Spencer, you notice how his eyes are shining.
He can't quite hide the tears, but there's also a smile on his lips that's so warm that it instantly makes your heart skip a beat. It is a smile that radiates hope and love despite the circumstances, despite the prison and all the fear that stands between you.
âIâm so happy,â he finally says, his voice shaky as he forms the words. âI can hardly believe it. You're going to be a mom. We're going to be parents." He takes a deep breath, and you can hear the relief and joy in his voice, but also the pain that comes with it. âBut I should be with you. I should be there to help and support you all the time,â he continues, a glimmer of desperation entering his eyes. âBut I canât help you. Thereâs nothing I can do for you.â
You feel your heart clench. You know he wants to be with you, to hold your hand, to comfort you, and to experience this together. âSpence,â you whisper, voice soft but full of conviction. âI want nothing more than for you to be here with me. That we experience this together. But weâll get through it. And I wonât do it alone. I have my friends. I have the team - JJ, also with children, who will help me - we will manage it somehow.â
You feel your voice take on a hint of certainty as you continue. âAnd weâll keep trying to get you out of here as quickly as possible. I promise you, we'll do everything we can to get you back with me. I'm now in my eighth week, Spence. We still have a little time, and I will fight to get you back here before the birth date. I donât know how, but Iâll make sure youâre there when our baby comes.â
Spencer lets out a small, shaky breath as he hears your words. For a moment he just sits there, the smile gone, and yet in his eyes you can see that deep love and gratitude flowing through him. âI donât know what I did to deserve you,â he says, his voice barely above a whisper. âYou are so incredibly strong. And you are here, despite everything that has happened. You're still there for me. I⊠I love you so much.â
You swallow, the lump in your throat almost too big to swallow. You want to tell him so many things, make so many promises. But your voice cracked as you replied, âI love you too, Spence. And I will always be there for you. We will get through this together, no matter what happens. We have each other. And thatâs the most important thing.â
But suddenly you hear the bang of the door and the prison guard appears in the window, a sign that the time is around o'clock. âI'm sorry, unfortunately time is up. You have to go now,â he says. You take a deep breath and withdraw your hand from the glass.
You give him one last look and you know that this moment is yours - even if it's too short. You smile at him through the glass. âI have to go, Spence,â you say quietly, your voice almost breaking. âBut I will come back. And we will do it. Weâll get you out of here soon. Youâll be with me again, I promise you.â
Spencer nods, his eyes following you, and there's an unspoken promise in his expression. âI'm waiting for you. I love you,â he says goodbye. âI love you too,â you say, your voice firm and full of determination. You let your gaze rest on him again, then you slowly stand up, turn around and leave, the thought of him and what you will go through together in your heart.
The hallway is empty as you close the door behind you. You know you don't have to walk this path alone. And you will do everything you can to bring Spencer back - for the team, for yourself, and for the little life you will soon create together.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#prison reid
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can you please write batboys (including Bruce) getting jealous when their crush subtly mentions her ex when they do something similar to her ex bf. (e.g. reading a book/watching a show/an activity that her ex used to love etc.)
Of course! Sorry for the late response time, Iâve been in a bit of a writing slump.
Bruce Wayne
He immediately clocks it and he doesnât feel the need to mention it. Bruce has already been told by his kids that heâs too controlling, it doesnât seem ideal in his mind to push you away.
Bruce will try to put the activity into perspective, for example if itâs a tv show then heâll learn to appreciate, that everyone watches TV shows. Itâs no surprise that you like a TV show your ex also happens to like.
Bruce himself has had lovers in the past and has also picked up little habits from them.
Occasionally if heâs frustrated about a case thatâs not going well, he will feel a twang of jealously for your ex lover. He wonât take it out on you for fear it will push you away. Instead he just acts indifferent.
Dick Grayson
Immediate side eye, and a cheeky comment.
âOh yeah?â His arms slip around your waist as he buries his face into your hair, âWell theyâre not with you now are they?â
He spends all his time proving to you why heâs the better option and by the end of it, youâll forget your exâs name before you can blink. Itâs all apart of the never ending charm he seems to have in spades.
Deep down though, Dick is happy that you feel comfortable enough to share that with him. After spending years under Batmans controlling wing, itâs refreshing to see freedom, youâre not afraid of what heâll think. Comfort is a big part of relationships with Dick and heâs grateful that you trust him.
Jason Todd
Heâs gritting his teeth by the time youâve ended your sentence. Thereâs an instant change in Jasonâs demeanour. Luckily this is only temporary and by showing him that youâre interested in the things heâs shared with you too, youâll have him back in no time.
Thereâs one issue though. The never ending comments. Every time you mention watching something his subconscious response is to mention your exâs TV show, in a goading tone. You want to order take out? Heâs willing to bet you want it from that place your ex used to take you. You want to read a book, ITS YOUR EX AGAIN.
All youâve succeeded in doing is giving him material to mercilessly make fun of you with.
Tim Drake
He rolls his eyes but encourages you to continue telling him about it. This man is a chronic napper though, so if heâs not interested heâs going straight to sleep.
To put it simply Tim couldnât give any less of a shit that you like something else your ex likes. Timâs life is simply too busy for him to be getting jealous over something so simple and human, thatâs not to say he doesnât get jealous though youâll find heâs more than capable of doing that.
Tim likes to look into things youâre interested in whenever heâs bored and heâs got time. Youâll be laying together with your head his lap. He looks like heâs just scrolling aimlessly on his phone, but the silence will be interrupted.
âYour ex does have good taste.â Heâll mutter.
Damian Wayne
The great Damian Wayne could never admit this, heâs a detective, heâs meticulous, he knows all the facts. But he forget your exâs name⊠Itâs all down to a mixture of ego and stress. Damian is such a good lover in his mind, thereâs no reason to be jealous of any other person. Heâs the only one whoâs worth your time. Damian is also incredibly busy and with all the cases he works his brain can only take so much. So if he has to exchange your exâs name for the potential name of a killer heâs making the sacrifice.
Damianâs happy for you to have hobbies or media you like, so long as itâs not disturbing or something that makes him wonder if youâre mentally ill in the worst sense. Therefore he doesnât flinch when you mention how much your ex loved that show, because he doesnât realise your ex is your ex.
Duke Thomas
âUmm ok?â Duke is awkward he isnât sure how to respond. Do you want him to be jealous, or do you want him to not care? Is he doing too much or too little? Has he not said anything for the past ten seconds either?!
The conversation is turned onto a different topic so he doesnât have to deal with his confusing emotions.
Later heâll ask you though if you had more in common with your ex than him, out of sheer nervousness. He wants you two to be on the same page and is secretly worried that you donât want to break his heart so youâre stringing him along. He knows his fears arenât the most logical, but itâs his emotions taking over.
However the conversation helps with your communication in the relationship and soothes his seething fears.
#Bruce Wayne x reader#dick Grayson x reader#dick grayson headcanon#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader#Tim Drake headcanon#damian wayne headcanon#damian wayne x reader#duke thomas x reader#duke thomas headcanon
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